¿Porque no los dos?

Other people aren't responsible for your actions. It's how we respond to our most difficult moments that define us.

yes

More importantly, other people aren't responsible for your feelings (generally).

Like, I get annoyed that my gf doesn't like to respond to "how was your day" with a conversation. She unloads, she wants a wall to pour her frustrations out to. It annoys me. That's my problem; not hers. She's not responsible for the feelings I get when I want to make her monologue a dialogue, but can't find room to. Especially not when I literally asked her to tell me the news.

We are responsible for our feelings. We are responsible for our actions. We're not responsible for our thoughts; external stimuli affect our senses and generate thoughts. But the feelings we feel and the actions we take based on those thoughts and feelings are within our control.

I'll catch downvoted from some folks reading this, thinking I'm saying "you're depressed and it's your fault," and that is not what I am saying.

"One of the biggest successes of neoliberalism was convincing most that depression can ONLY result from deranged internal chemical imbalances rather than as normal reaction to external shittiness of the current state of the world."

https://lemmy.world/post/50786549

Thank you. I feel that too many people use their emotions as an excuse to act in awful ways to other people too often.

Like I do get thst sometimes a person wcan let their emotions force them to act in awful ways. But there comes a point when a person just has to accept that they need to come up with healthier coping mechanisms when their emotions feel overwhelming than acting out .