Not going to offer many details on the where or how, as I don't intend to dox myself, but suffice it to say that I will continue touching butts for an extended period. I don't like feeling aroused by the act. These people placed trust in me. Trust that I mean them no harm and that I am safe to be around. I can certainly be both while aroused, but I'd rather not have to deal with this.

I'd prefer not to dissociate through work, but I can't find another way to contextualize my experiences in a way that doesn't leave me frustrated until I get home.

Aren't you going to get used to it after a few days, like to everything else in life?

The FBI supposedly figured out that Jeffrey Dahmer was a smoker, because they found butts in the garbage can.

Turned off yet?

Find a place and a time to vent it.

Never talk to these people about it, ofc, but find a trusted person to talk to. The world wild internet cannot replace a trusted person.

No, I think form fitting suits are hot... But I am sincerely asking about compartmentalization, so please don't take this as an invitation to make more butt jokes

I have certainly not gotten used to it after a few days

Usually I'd speak to my partner about it, but the subject matter is peculiar and uncomfortable. Frankly, I was hoping to find a magic bullet rather than reasonable advice

One time I did see one patient that was exceptionally attractive so I just kinda shoved it down for a while. I did have a bizarre dream (don't remember any of the details other than that it involved that patient and was bizarre). Then I had to clean their bathroom real fast when they had to move rooms and I no longer found them attractive. Problem solved. Dunno if that helps in your situation. Maybe look into more about how intimacy coordinators in the TV/Film industryhandle things? They gotta handle people who are actually like. HOT.

Maybe look into more about how intimacy coordinators in the TV/Film industryhandle things?

No, they don't clean bathrooms either :)

They actually learn and practice how to create intimacy and at the same time to set and respect proper boundaries. But that is a "together" thing. Doesn't help OP here.

Oh no that was mostly unrelated and intentionally so. I don't struggle with it because patients, being human beings, are generally pretty gross (and I'm usually seeing the grossest parts of their lives). It sounds like OP doesn't have the grossness to fix the problem for them and that was the best alternative framework I could think of.

Jerk of before work. Maybe not applicable to people with vaginas, but it's quick and for me at least really makes a difference in how horny I get

Kinda feels like you need to find something else to do, if I'm being honest. If you can't push it aside, then you are getting sexual gratification in a non-consensual way.

That sucks. Maybe find something else or somewhere else? Perhaps it is the gender of the butts involved? If your arousal is visible this might complicate things at work. It also opens you to risk.

Don't we all?

I mean, I can and have pushed it aside. I'd just rather have to push nothing, if you follow my meaning.

I have made a point of being completely satisfied before the day begins, which has reduced the issue by an order of magnitude. Still lizard braining, unfortunately.

It might take more than a few days. I asked my brother about a similar thing - he was a cheerleader and part of that is practically groping butts. He just said after a while the act in that context got desensitized and wasn't an issue, but it was awkward until then.

It's certainly not visible. Not unless I have a major wardrobe malfunction. And I'm looking at other options before I choose to change gears to that degree.

Maybe try to see your work as systematic act. Brake the touching down into small purpose driven steps to disconnect it from sensuality during your work.

Otherwise its ok to have unprofessionel thoughts as long as you dont act on them unprofessionely.

I do not, unfortunately. Some butts are gross while others are not. It's a frustrating spectrum

Fair enough, and honestly it’s to your credit that it bothers you. If it keeps happening, it might be worth talking to a therapist, or a supervisor if your field has that kind of support. This is aparently common enough in hands on professions that there’s guidance on it. And if it never eases up, it’s okay to decide the job isn’t the right fit.

That is heartening and leaves me hopeful. I'm hoping butts turn a stale beige sooner rather than later

Think of baseball? Get to meditative sort of state. Practice with fake butts?

That has been my mindset going in, but maintaining it has lessened the issue rather than alleviating it entirely.

I would never act on them. There's 0 chance of that, which has pinned my hope for resolution

Thats sounds great already!
I hope you can find peace with it.

I have a somewhat creative idea. Don't know if you want to try it out, but I just tell it:

First, get hold of your partner's butt.
Then start to talk about the issue, but talk in a certain way:

• Describe how this butt is better than all the other butts.
• Tell how you feel about this butt, but not about the other butts.
• Tell what you are going to do to this butt, but never to all the other butts.
• etc.

You know the direct outcome of this already. In addition such talk is going to have impact for the future on your own thoughts and feelings, and the same for your partner.

Okay, I shouldn't have laughed at this great idea, but it is humorous to imagine this scenario.

I know elsewhere you said you want a magic bullet, but you might consider this a multi-pronged, if not at least multi-step process.

I think that you can get used to it. But if you have too much concern about the whole thing that can paradoxically prevent that habituation from occurring. trust that you are acting appropriately. Do those other steps like masturbation before work. Do something to remain present, like engagino your senses with your environment. Noting the sounds you hear, the smells, or the things you can see.

Make it you versus thoughts instead of you versus butt. Or versus arousal. Call the thoughts in your head that come up that aren't serving you

I haven't seen it mentioned, so what I consider an important perspective: it's a perfectly normal and biologically expected reaction. Having thoughts and feelings is never incorrect, shameful, or immoral. It's our behavior which has consequence.

Remember that in the opposite role, as a patient, it might feel embarrassing or inappropriate to become visibly aroused when a doctor or nurse is manipulating (or even just looking at) parts of your body, but the professional is trained to recognize this as an autonomous physiological response to stimuli, and disregard. There's no place or reason in this context for judgement.

I would encourage you to, and honestly, as the professional in your circumstance, expect you to, foster this same clinical disregard for your own arousal. It's perfectly fine and expected to be aroused when touching or being touched by another human; that's not behavior and must not be judged.

But developing what could be understood as a "kink" by perseverating on your "naughty" feelings toward people in your care, finding it titillating how embarrassed or unprofessional your reactions are, isn't uncommon. It's exciting because it's transgressive. If you can't operate professionally by treating your normal feelings as normal, you do owe it to the people who've placed their trust in you to step away.

Do you have OCD?

Maybe don't hope that for just every butt, but butts that are work related.

Time. It just takes time.

I washed bodies and wiped butts for twenty years. Most of the time, my patients were not on my radar anyway, as I'm hetero and the vast majority were men. Among the women, I'd say 3/4ths were elderly enough that they were well beyond my upper range even now that I'm middle aged.

But there were a few, in the early years, that were very attractive. Of equal or more importance, when I transitioned to home health instead of facility care, family members of patients would sometimes not only be attractive, but assume that I was perfectly safe to be naked around, or even request contact that would be considered intimate to some degree or another.

It really, truly, didn't take long for my inner switch to just stay in the off position at work. By the time I was thirty, I had family members of patients outright put moves on me and it would take multiple attempts for me to notice because my switch in my brain said that work time is work time, not happy penis time.

It did take seeing a goodly double handful of goodly handfuls before I adapted though. Butt, if your job requires more frequent contact with bodies you'd be attracted to, it'll happen faster than it did for me in terms of time. More exposure to the experience starts dialing down the sexuality of it. Oh, you might find some arousal on occasion even after years, but it'll be occasional and you'll develop the ability to ignore it.

Short term, it's the same as any stressor you face at work. Identify it, control your breathing as you accept its presence in your mind, and allow that control to filter it out. And it will. It's a basic meditation technique that's infallible assuming the ability to breathe with control, and enough practice. The more you control your breathing, the more control gets spread to the rest of you.

My hobby has me touching a lot of butts. After a while, it's not interesting anymore

Possibly it might help to accept that your conflict is not unusual, professionalism is an attempt to limit the chaos of human thought into a narrow channel but it is only an attempt. Understanding that emotions from arousal to repulsion are natural and have evolved specifically to overcome attempts to suppress them is important. Expectation and acceptance of errant thoughts is a way to nullify their potency and manage their weight on your actions. Those thoughts that flit in and out of your mind are in the minds of everyone around you, and always have been and were in the minds of the owners of those butts. The chaos does not escape our minds not because it is not there but because it does not fit into the world we have made. This essential goodness of fit to the world of a conscious well mind is what limits the stream of unlimited options coming unrelented from the subconscious.

As a pro your career depends on your ability to be completely dispassionate in the non-work aspects of butt, you must classify them as “work butts” where the work butts may hold work-related and necessary information and be required, but they are fundamentally different from the fun “non-work” butts. You just have to turn those thoughts off. I’ve been disassociating in the human services field for a really long time so I know it is easier said than done, but your professional and personal life really do depend your ability to compartmentalize these things. Maybe think of them as slabs of meat.

This is the right answer. They’ve already identified the problem and dislike the feeling, which is well on the road to flipping the switch. This is one of the reasons human services fields are difficult, you literally have to turn off parts of yourself that would normally feel and react to become a good professional.

I'm a massage therapist, and have used this approach for decades. People's bodies are anatomy, and the person residing in that body needs to be cared for with respect and compassion. I learn their needs and concerns, and address their anatomy to best support their needs. I'm being paid to compartmentalize my mind as a professional, and separate out my personal thoughts or judgements.

When I'm not working, people in my personal life are no longer anatomy. They're people I have relationships with, with different dynamics allowing for different responses.

Are you a proctologist with a midlife crisis?

This is my partner's butt.

There are many like it, but this is mine.

My partner's butt is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

I am nothing without this butt,

This butt is nothing without me.

I think I found OP:

As someone who values their privacy immensely, I can only answer in non-answers if someone asks for specifics on anything but my processing of the information.

I was just joking anyway sorry.

No, not in any meaningful way. Everyone has it in small expressions

Well said and I loved your secret pun

Not the cleftal horizon!

I'm deeply envious of those, like yourself, who have successfully reframed their clients. How long did it take to do so? I recognize that people are vastly different, but an order of magnitude or two would help frame when it becomes a real issue.

You're totally fine, no harm done

Is this a new activity to you? You will get used to it

It was a bit cheeky.

While I can only hypothesize about what being a home health care worker would be like, it boggles my damn mind how other family members think it's cool to just be naked with outside people there.

I can't imagine being comfortable naked outside of being alone or with a partner though. But no matter what the internal dynamics are, when the care worker is there, how are they comfortable with that (outside of just being nudist in general)?

That's what sounds crazy to me.

Relatively. And that is my hope. Expediting it would be nice.