Ah, yes, I too long for the legendary beaches of northern Montana.

canabeach

Only slightly more picturesque than the beaches of southern New Mexico. ☝🏼

since we're in the topic of "that's the joke," forgot to mention Alaska and Hawaii

I hear there is convenient beach access from El Paso. What’s a beach if not sand?

There are a lot of those in California

If "has sand" is your primary criteria, you're in luck!

I love the extra troll of Hawaii being left red

There are no beaches in Hawaii! You crazy, yo

hell yeah 420 blaze it bro

Good, NJ has terrible beaches, don't come here. I mean don't go there. Yep yep!

Hey bud, you’re in luck! I just happen to be a real estate salesman who specializes in beachfront property in the land of enchantment. I’ve got some properties that I can set you up with real cheap!

Makes sense though, in the American mind there is only one country.

not unless you are a billionaire

Honestly? I'd probably buy just about anything from Steve Martin.

The most scenic beaches are the northern North Dakota ones, in January.

We know about Australia ok

as someone who has both ice skated and snowmobiled across the frozen waters which are home to those beaches.. ya know, back in the before times when you could do that sort of thing across border.. you are absolutely correct!

Should have included a spot in Utah for the Mormons who thought they had found the ocean and settled.