damn that was really a waste of money :(

i doubt anyone's gonna downvote lol

Augustus Gloop?

Bot farm and ai training material

That’s not a tear

Middle school me only felt positive emotions when 9/11 happened

Oh my god. WHELKS???

I pee in the pool.

Shame on me, for not having read this one.

I refused to let my parents visit me for my 40th birthday.

The legitimate reason as that Dad is disabled and the journey is too long

The reason I gave was that I still wasn't over calling them out over favouritism when I stayed with them over Christmas.

The actual reason is that even before Christmas I had decided I would celebrate the big 40 by hiring an escort to finally lose my virginity.

I's the one i won't tell online, either.

Anything known by two or more people is not a secret, but an asset.

Exactly. The fun part of social media is(/was) finding people you know IRL and having an extra way to interact. The fun part of internet forums is finding people you didn't know before and learning new stuff.

Windows has a tracking ID you can’t remove

I like to jerk off while wearing a dress. I'd tell a partner if I had one but that's it.

Nice try, anyone irl

The smell never tipped anyone off?

Go on...

only one?

I mean, yeah, kinda. I'm curious now.

Good for you, I hope you had fun!

I notice you didn't specify "while swimming."

That's how you get Pee Lung, my friend.

I literally worked as a high-level conservative political hack for years. I grew up hyper-religious and hyper-sheltered. I thought I was doing something good, believe it or not. I still wouldn't blame anyone for cursing me over it. I hate me for it, too.

Can we see, since we're strangers?

Hell yeah, finally I get to agree with the Yappy Monotheist!

What's the difference between legitimate reason and actual reason? Aren't those two secret reasons that you kept from your parents?

IT WAS THIS PERSON!

Yeah. To me social media is specifically visual platforms where you are selling a personality.

but let's not mistake ourselves, the majority of internet use is social media use and has been for a decade. and it's predominantly accessed via mobile devices, not computers.

yeah i used social media when it was a IRL friend circle, but that's not how any of those platforms work anymore, they are all about selling you product via viral ads.

I'm the Unbomber. No, not the other one! I go to places and just enjoy them and maybe pick up some trash. I never damage them.

I voted for the repubs once in 2004. I still thought that whole fiscally conservative lie was actually a thing. Little did I know, it was just a lie to not spend money on social problems and just spend money on rich people and corporate interests.

We live and learn.

It took them ages to figure out where the pee smell was coming from

Social media for people that hate social media.

Sounds like my history teacher. He gave us all murderer, criminal, serial killer, etc. nicknames

I belong to this weird online community where people show up and think they have these great ideas that they want to share with the world, most of them are ideas that have been implanted in their minds from prolonged exposure to some other social media experience 🤫

I don't mean to be that guy, but have u not bought any fuel or groceries? It's REALLY hard to not pay taxes! Or have u just stopped paying income tax?

There was that one time I...ooohh...you almost got me!

Jesus fuck.

Same. I'm pretty sure I've never actually said "Lemmy" out loud. I might go my whole life without mentioning it.

Now, Linux, on the other hand...

I fucked your mom and didn't call her back.

Nice try…

Also not paying taxes is incredibly dumb. You don't want to mess with the IRS (or for other countries, the appropriate agency). Even the Joker doesn't mess with the IRS.

I don't wanna get banned so I dm'd you

Dm'd you. I don't wanna get banned

I use lemmy

I like it!

Niiice, glad you like it

The College I went to was horrible. In final years our entire syllabus and PPTs AI generated shit. I technically passed them without studying, but what was even the point of what I did? To delay unemployment?

The reason I got banned from reddit. I tried trading my account with someone back then, and likely got a permaban for that reason. Reddit never told me why I got permaban, but it's likely the reason.

The reason I tell everyone is that it's because I was the moderator of the rule 34 subreddit of my country's prime minister( which I actually was).

You know, I did. Escorts are so good at emotional labour, and I was pretty down. She absolutely made my day.

A legitimate reason is one not based on my own emotions, but on concern for my dad. (And to be clear, the bus journey really is a long, gruelling slog when you're able-bodied. Dad shouldn't be doing it).

The actual reason is why I genuinely didn't want to see them.