That must be one hell of a pee tape.

After seven straight days of flying across America and spewing obvious lies and incoherent nonsense at hate rallies coast to coast, Preznit Fuckwit and his bunny-boiling diaper nurse took Sunday off, and played patty-cake while holed up at his vermin-infested Florida golf motel.

So we were spared hearing yet another eloquent soliloquy on the magnificence of Jon Husted’s ass.

Unfortunately for us, however, Donny didn’t take a break from crapping out pro-Russian bullshit all over his crappy app.

What in the actual fuck? Goddammit, how am I supposed to make this shit funny?

So, basically, Donny is going to reward Putin, and lift economic sanctions against Russia, because “Russia is doing very little” to help Iran, “compared to what they could be doing”?

That’s the rationale? It could have been worse? Russia could have helped Iran kill moreAmericans than they already have?

Why does everything that seeps from Donny’s rancid anus-mouth sound like something an abuser would say? ‘It could have been worse’ is probably how he explained away Jeffrey Epstein’s treatment of Motel-a-Lago ‘spa girls’

**Donny has been inflicting himself into politics for ten long years now. In all that time, he’s taken Russia’s side in every conflict. *****Why? *****It can’t simply be because Russia helped him win in 2016. **Donny’s not that loyal to anyone.

I’m still waiting for Dear Leader to collude with America, even just once. That must be one fuck of a pee tape, that Putin’s got locked away in his safe.

Donny keeps taking about how Canada should be our 51st state, when in reality he’s already turned the United States into Russia’s 47th province.

Even the uber-conservative National Review is all ‘are you fucking shitting me?’'

The Review demands an answer to the question we’re all asking right now: Why is Donny throwing our actual ally, Ukraine, to the wolves, while slobbering all over Putin’s ass?

President Donald Trump is giving [Putin] aid and comfort.

Congress has become a laggard even when it is in session. Now, it’s the political season, so it is inconceivable that midterm campaigns will be suspended to do the nation’s vital national security work. Yet in a properly functioning republic, there would be immediate hearings about this week’s shocking escalation of the Trump–Putin alliance.

Look at that: the National Review, actually being on the correct side of an issue. William F. Buckley must be churning in his urn.

Meanwhile, has the United States ever had a more useless Secretary of State than Marco Rubio? He’s a feckless idiot. He is absolutely devoid of feck.

Can you name one thing that Liddle Marco Big-Shoes has accomplished in his almost two years on the job? No, you cannot. Ask him to take a stand on anything, and he’ll homer-simpson himself right into that hedge.

So when a reporter asked Marco to explain how the Space Nazi’s Starlink satellites came to mysteriously stop functioning properly, leaving Ukraine unable to defend itself, just as Russia was initiating a missile attack, of course his answer was ‘fuck if I know.’

“Nobody ordered that Starlink speed to be slowed down. It sorta happened.”

‘It just sorta happened.’ Stunning answer. It calls to mind Harry S Truman’s famous saying, ‘the buck sorta stops somewhere.’

Marco Rubio is useless. He’s absolutely useless. He’s as useless as a marzipan dildo.

Oh, please. If Starlink technology is truly that dodgy, that stuff kinda sorta happens, all on its own, then why is the United States using it for its own military operations?That’s the question the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press should be asking Marco.

**Of course, the Starlink satellites didn’t just mysteriously *****kinda sorta ***anything. Someone ordered that shit to happen, and perfectly timed it — either the Space Nazi, or Donny, or the two of them working in cahoots. 

By the way, according to Reuters, the order to dick with the satellites came from within the White House.

NEW YORK/WASHINGTON, Oct 15 (Reuters) - The order to limit a satellite system used by Ukraine ​for battlefield communications and drone operations came from inside the White House, according to two US officials and a Western official briefed on the matter.

This should be a huge fucking scandal right now — because once again, Dear Leader is throwing Ukraine to the wolves.

Oh, look who agrees with me — once again, it’s those commie rat bastards at the National Review.

Immediately, Congress should hold hearings, demanding testimony under oath from Defense Department and other administration officials about the chain of events that led to restrictions that facilitated Russia’s suspiciously timed attack.

And if Marco Rubio can’t come up with a better lie than ‘kinda sorta who even knows,’ then he should resign in disgrace. 

After that, we all need a palate cleanse — so here comes the part where we all throw our heads back in laughter. Ready?

Here’s a perfectly normal billboard that’s currently up in Brownsville, TX, in the district where Republican Eric Flores is running for Congress.

There’s Eric, giving a thumb’s up, next to Dear Leader, who is also giving a thumb’s up. Perfectly normal stuff, except for the part where Flores is suing to have that billboard taken down — because it was put up by the Democratic incumbent, Vincente Gonzalez. 

The letter says the sign “fraudulently purports to be on behalf of” the Flores campaign. Across the bottom, it says it was paid for by the campaign of Rep. Vicente Gonzalez — the incumbent Democratic lawmaker running for reelection in the battleground district.

That’s how toxic Donny has become. No Republican currently running for office wants to be associated with him. 

Donny has in fact endorsed Flores, on his crappy app.

But Flores doesn’t want you to know that — he’s already scrubbed any reference of Dear Leader from his campaign material.

Congratulations, Donny. You’re such an utter fucking embarrassment that no one want your fat, waterlogged face on their ads. You built that! 

Thought the headline was an onion article at first, lol