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The PHP part never gets old
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muhyb
programming.dev
muhyb@programming.dev
Joined: 2023-07-05
Posted:   Subject: The PHP part never gets old Quote

959   Original
DreadPirateShawn
lemmy.blahaj.zone
DreadPirateShawn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2023-06-09
#2 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

The LISP parentheses are not equally balanced. There are more ( than ).

66
muhyb
programming.dev
muhyb@programming.dev
Joined: 2023-07-05
#3 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

The LISP parentheses are not equally balanced. There are more ( than ).

Exactly 6 more.

42
Y|yukichigai
kbin.earth

yukichigai@kbin.earth
Joined: 2025-12-25
#4 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

When I first saw this comic I was a relatively new COBOL programmer. It felt accurate.

I am now my employer's senior COBOL dev. It still feels accurate.

120
db2
lemmy.world
db2@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-29
#5 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

The assembly one isn't fair.

https://kolibrios.org/en

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Kairos
lemmy.today
LodeMike@lemmy.today
Joined: 2023-12-26
#6 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

That's a little reductive but but... sure.

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Viking_Hippie
lemmy.dbzer0.com
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Joined: 2024-12-04
#7 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

That's a little reductive but but... sure.

Sounds like you have a future in network news 😉

6
_stranger_
lemmy.world
_stranger_@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#8 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

That's because it's already so old, it can't get older.

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muhyb
programming.dev
muhyb@programming.dev
Joined: 2023-07-05
#9 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

That's because it's already so old, it can't get older.

PHP is a vampire.

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Sneezycat
sopuli.xyz

sneezycat@sopuli.xyz
Joined: 2023-06-05
#10 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Exactly 6 more.

)))))) There, the horse is contained now.

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Alavi
programming.dev

somegeek@programming.dev
Joined: 2023-06-25
#11 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

But notice that lisp was the only one where you actually built a horse.

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MonkderVierte
lemmy.zip
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-05-30
#12 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

[deleted]
0
MonkderVierte
lemmy.zip
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-05-30
#13 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

But notice that lisp was the only one where you actually built a horse.

Also assembly. And the dangling parts.

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MonkderVierte
lemmy.zip
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-05-30
#14 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

The assembly one isn't fair. https://kolibrios.org/en

Why not? KolibriOS is pretty basic for a OS. But boy is it fast.

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Diplomjodler
lemmy.world

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-01-08
#15 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Python:

from horses import Horse 

my_horse = Horse(color="brown")

There. Done.

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GardenGeek
europe.pub
GardenGeek@europe.pub
Joined: 2026-01-10
#16 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

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surewhynotlem
lemmy.world
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-13
#17 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Python: from horses import Horse my_horse = Horse(color="brown") There. Done.

You built a horse in Python. There's too much space between you and the horse so it dies.

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SapphironZA
sh.itjust.works
SapphironZA@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2024-02-24
#18 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

https://toggl.com/blog/build-horse-programming

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GardenGeek
europe.pub
GardenGeek@europe.pub
Joined: 2026-01-10
#19 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

https://toggl.com/blog/build-horse-programming

Thanks!

1
muhyb
programming.dev
muhyb@programming.dev
Joined: 2023-07-05
#20 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Well, this is the original as it gets, direct from the source.

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Madagaskar_sky
lemmy.world
Madagaskar_sky@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-21
#21 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

When I first saw this comic I was a relatively new COBOL programmer. It felt accurate. I am now my employer's senior COBOL dev. It still feels accurate.

What's the biggest hurdle to porting old systems written in COBOL to newer languages? Besides the glaring conflict of interest for you.

17
Fmstrat
lemmy.world
Fmstrat@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-04-27
#22 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

What's the biggest hurdle to porting old systems written in COBOL to newer languages? Besides the glaring conflict of interest for you.

Hahaha port. Get a load of this person thinking COBOL is being ported! I bet they like the number 4.

51
GardenGeek
europe.pub
GardenGeek@europe.pub
Joined: 2026-01-10
#23 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Well, this is the original as it gets, direct from the source.

All right. Sorry if that came across the wrong way: I wasn't actually trying to complain, I just used the meme because I noticed the low resolution.
I don't know if I'm getting too old for this crap, but back in the day, that meme used to pop up all the time as a response to low-resolution images. ^^

5
Axolotl.cpp
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Axolotl_cpp@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Joined: 2026-10-01
#24 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

This might be a client issue, eg: when images are too big, Thunder pixelate 'em

24
muhyb
programming.dev
muhyb@programming.dev
Joined: 2023-07-05
#25 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

All right. Sorry if that came across the wrong way: I wasn't actually trying to complain, I just used the meme because I noticed the low resolution. I don't know if I'm getting too old for this crap, but back in the day, that meme used to pop up all the time as a response to low-resolution images. ^^

Nah, that's ok. Though you have to click on the image for full resolution. On Lemmy it shows small for some reason.

5
Lyrl
lemmy.dbzer0.com
Lyrl@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Joined: 2025-06-14
#26 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

What's the biggest hurdle to porting old systems written in COBOL to newer languages? Besides the glaring conflict of interest for you.

I think just the size of the projects. My employer has had a team of ten-ish people working full time on porting a piece of our COBOL program (the full thing was deemed not possible to port to a single modern application, so it's getting split up) for about a year now. I was peripherally involved in four rounds of increasingly integrated testing environments. Go live was yesterday. They rolled it back three hours in.

It's hard for a company to invest multiple people's salaries for many years on reworking software that currently mostly works.

21
GardenGeek
europe.pub
GardenGeek@europe.pub
Joined: 2026-01-10
#27 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Nah, that's ok. Though you have to click on the image for full resolution. On Lemmy it shows small for some reason.

Oh, didn't realize that, thank you!

3
GardenGeek
europe.pub
GardenGeek@europe.pub
Joined: 2026-01-10
#28 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

This might be a client issue, eg: when images are too big, Thunder pixelate 'em

It is indeed, thank you!

5
A_norny_mousse
piefed.social

A_norny_mousse@piefed.social
Joined: 2026-09-27
#29 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Why not? KolibriOS is pretty basic for a OS. But boy is it fast.

And it runs Doom.

6
Bazoogle
lemmy.world
Bazoogle@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-24
#30 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

All right. Sorry if that came across the wrong way: I wasn't actually trying to complain, I just used the meme because I noticed the low resolution. I don't know if I'm getting too old for this crap, but back in the day, that meme used to pop up all the time as a response to low-resolution images. ^^

The resolution is great on my end. That might be where the confusion was

6
muhyb
programming.dev
muhyb@programming.dev
Joined: 2023-07-05
#31 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Oh, didn't realize that, thank you!

No problem!

3
Diplomjodler
lemmy.world

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-01-08
#32 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

You built a horse in Python. There's too much space between you and the horse so it dies.

I'll just instantiate a new one.

12
caseyweederman
lemmy.ca

caseyweederman@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2023-08-30
#33 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

)))))) There, the horse is contained now.

You thought so, but there was a teleporter

11
tetris11
feddit.uk

tetris11@feddit.uk
Joined: 2025-02-17
#34 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

The Fixed Point Expression / Y Combinator expressed in horses:

    Y = (λ f. (λ x. f(xx))(λ x. f(xx)))
    ;; so then, give Y a horse argument with apple parameters:
    Y🐎️ = (λ f. (λ 🍎.  f(🍎🍎)) (λ 🍎. f(🍎🍎))) 🐎️   ;; [1]
        =       (λ 🍎. 🐎️(🍎🍎)) (λ 🍎. 🐎️(🍎🍎))      ;; [2]
        = 🐎️(   (λ 🍎. 🐎️(🍎🍎)) (λ 🍎. 🐎️(🍎🍎))   )  ;; [3]
        = 🐎️(Y🐎️)                                       ;; [4]

::: spoiler Explanation

  • 1: x is 🍎, but could be anything. It's just a function parameter nested within another.
  • 2: λf gets executed and vanishes from the left, substituting f internally with 🐎️. This is now a new function, with left group as the function body, and right group as the function argument, despite being identical.
  • 3: λ🍎 gets executed and vanishes from the left, substituting 🍎 with (λ 🍎. 🐎️(🍎🍎))
  • 4: Everything within the main brackets at [3] has been seen before at [1], but with f being 🐎. Thus we have bred a new horse. We can breed infinite horses this way
    :::
11
bitjunkie
lemmy.world

bitjunkie@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-06-19
#35 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

All right. Sorry if that came across the wrong way: I wasn't actually trying to complain, I just used the meme because I noticed the low resolution. I don't know if I'm getting too old for this crap, but back in the day, that meme used to pop up all the time as a response to low-resolution images. ^^

14
MonkderVierte
lemmy.zip
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-05-30
#36 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

And it runs Doom.

HTML runs Doom.

7
Sneezycat
sopuli.xyz

sneezycat@sopuli.xyz
Joined: 2023-06-05
#37 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

You thought so, but there was a teleporter

Shout-outs to enclose.horse!

13
MehBlah
lemmy.world
MehBlah@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-04-16
#38 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Looks big enough to me.

8
Victor
lemmy.world
victorz@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-11-14
#39 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

This might be a client issue, eg: when images are too big, Thunder pixelate 'em

Good to know. 🙏

3
StabbingSky
lemmy.zip
StabbingSky@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-04-30
#40 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

You built a horse in Python. There's too much space between you and the horse so it dies.

Or you accidentally used spaces instead of a tab on one line

6
surewhynotlem
lemmy.world
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-13
#41 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Or you accidentally used spaces instead of a tab on one line

Your horse is now an upside-down zebra

5
Tja
programming.dev
Tja@programming.dev
Joined: 2023-12-18
#42 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Ctrl-F "rust" - > 0 matches

I sense a pertubance in the force

7
Afaithfulnihilist
lemmy.dbzer0.com
Afaithfulnihilist@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Joined: 2025-09-15
#43 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Ctrl-F "rust" - > 0 matches I sense a pertubance in the force

Well duh, Ctrl f doesn't work on pictures!

13
dasrael
lemmy.zip
dasrael@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-02-15
#44 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

This is no time for joking around......I just wanna know if I can turn my webserver back on yet?! Hello?!? Anyone?!

9
NotAnOtter
lemmus.org
NotAnOtter@lemmus.org
Joined: 2026-09-26
#45 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

This is no time for joking around......I just wanna know if I can turn my webserver back on yet?! Hello?!? Anyone?!

If you keep it off, it's significantly harder to get hacked.

Until your hosting service gets pwned..

15
WhyJiffie
sh.itjust.works
WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2023-07-11
#46 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

What's the biggest hurdle to porting old systems written in COBOL to newer languages? Besides the glaring conflict of interest for you.

the cobol system was already tested for years or decades, important bugs are already fixed, it's other quirks have became part of the workflow for people using it, and for other systems interacting with it, some of them likely also cobol. if you write a new system, it has to work the exact same way. same features, same bugs, same everything. but realistically it will have brand new bugs, it will miss some functions and do some others differently enough that it sometimes causes problems, and nobody knows why.

7
marcos
lemmy.world
marcos@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-16
#47 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Python: from horses import Horse my_horse = Horse(color="brown") There. Done.

horses was last released in 2024, and can only run on python up to 3.12.

horses depends on iron-making, that is up to date. That means the current version of iron-making depends on python >= 3.14, and that all the versions prior to 2025 were taken offline due to a CVE where if you run the library as root in a web backend that uses the make_nail function, people can open your barn doors without authorization when inside it.

48
anewfox
lemmy.zip
anewfox@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-08-07
#48 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

horses was last released in 2024, and can only run on python up to 3.12. horses depends on iron-making, that is up to date. That means the current version of iron-making depends on python >= 3.14, and that all the versions prior to 2025 were taken offline due to a CVE where if you run the library as root in a web backend that uses the make_nail function, people can open your barn doors witho...

and also the most recent horses release on pypi includes a crypto miner and credential stealer.

17
The Bard in Green
lemmy.starlightkel.xyz

thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz
Joined: 2023-06-07
#49 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

horses was last released in 2024, and can only run on python up to 3.12. horses depends on iron-making, that is up to date. That means the current version of iron-making depends on python >= 3.14, and that all the versions prior to 2025 were taken offline due to a CVE where if you run the library as root in a web backend that uses the make_nail function, people can open your barn doors witho...

I cannot up vote this enough.

7
heartSagan5
lemmy.zip
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-05-27
#50 Posted:   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

Well duh, Ctrl f doesn't work on pictures!

...yet. Then again, that's literally what "alt" on images is for.

4
heartSagan5
lemmy.zip
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-05-27
#51 Posted: · edited   Subject: Re: The PHP part never gets old Quote Reply

And here I am glad that I try to avoid phpMyAdmin too, whenever possible.

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