https://every.to/p/the-operating-manual-for-your-nervous-system

Exercise never fails to make me feel better in some way and I never believe it will beforehand

Hobbies, yo.

Get into anything.

Impress yourself. Hard to be mean to yourself if you go from burning poptarts to baking a pie.

Building stuff.

Woodworking is forgiving, I suck at it regardless.

Games that let you build are fun, Minecraft, factorio, and the like.

Programming is where I really landed. I tend to cope these days by pouring effort into side projects.

If [lethargic or sleepy] then [espresso breath]
If [anxious or overwhelmed] then [breath of calm]

Let’s start with espresso breath.
Espresso breath

Sit up with a straight lower spine, tuck your chin slightly, and begin rapid exhales through your nose, at the rate of roughly two per second. The inhale happens naturally. You should feel your belly contracting like a pump with each exhale. Continue for 30 exhales. Once you’ve completed this, exhale completely to the end of your breath, holding until you feel mild breath-hunger (the desire to inhale).

Then inhale deeply and hold at the top for 20-30 seconds. Release the breath completely, keeping your body as motionless as possible for 30 seconds afterward to allow the effects to settle.

Repeat this 2-3 times as desired. You may also experiment with noticing how this short practice creates a shift in your internal state.

The author practicing "breath of calm."(Credit: Kelly Miller)
Breath of calm

This practice uses the technique of alternate nostril breathing that has been shown in studies to effectively reduce anxiety, combined with an exhale that is twice the length of the inhale. Longer exhales are key for the down-regulation of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the branch that enables us to recover and rejuvenate following a stressor and also creates the conditions for sleep in the evening.

Ensure you’re sitting comfortably, ideally with a straight lower spine. Bring your right hand up to your face, using your ring finger to close the left nostril and your thumb to close the right nostril.

Begin by closing the right nostril and inhaling through the left side for a count of three. Then hold at the top for three. Exhale through the right side for a count of six. Now inhale right-side for three, hold for three, and exhale left for six. This is one full round. If you find a count of three and six challenging, start with inhaling for two, holding two, and exhaling for four. Over time your carbon dioxide tolerance will increase, and you can extend to counts of 10 in and 20 out.

Repeat for 3-5 rounds or until you feel sufficiently calm. It’s beneficial to end the practice with a full inhale and an audible relaxed sigh, which deepens the relaxation response.

There are various cues to watch for to see if your body is downshifting gears into parasympathetic. The most obvious is a spontaneous sigh response, but you also may be aware of a softening in muscular tension in the shoulders and belly or a more relaxed gaze

i am coming to realize this at a much later age than it should've, i am ashamed to admit.

though it makes perfect sense

That's a really good way of putting it

Practicing awareness. It gets mentioned a lot, or used to, and sounded silly until i kind of figured it out myself. Just stop thinking and feeling emotions for 2-5 minutes and put all of your attention into your senses of seeing, hearing, etc. It’s like taking a quick refreshing mental shower.

And you don't need to be an extreme athlete or have all the equipment, don't need to compare your abilities to others, it's not about weight loss, etc. There are fanatics, purists and gatekeepers in every area you can imagine, but just ignore all that. As long as heart rate is up, muscles are being used, and you're not hurting yourself in the process: you're good. And if you find exercise you actually enjoy rather than simply endure: even better. And don't worry about setting goals. Goals will eventually happen automatically, and will probably change over time as well.

Personal example: For me it was an e-bike that finally got me moving. The boost of acceleration was addicting, the feeling of the wind at 25+ mph, and before I knew it I was pushing myself harder and harder, and on minimum assist. The cycling purists would say that I'm robbing myself by not riding a regular bike. But that completely misses the fact that I wouldn't be riding at all if I wasn't enjoying myself. And the gains are real.

Quitting drinking

Statistically, people with e bikes get more exercise than people with regular bikes, because we are taking them to the store, to work, just more willing to use them as transportation.