Use the sausage method. Take a condom, place it around the extruder, make sure to get a good seal, and let it go. Every so often pinch and twist for the links. That way you can go laying down

Edit: Pro-tip, place your bed near the window for easy clean-up

It would have cost you nothing not to say that.

You're absolutely right. It's so easy to help folks out being kind costs nothing either. I'm glad you apriciate my advice

You’re the one who read “sausage method” and couldn’t resist.

And that’s a shame I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.

Sorry to hear bruh.

Be careful not to strain, or part two will be hemorrhoid boogaloo.

Might not be poo cramps, might just be gas troubles. 🤷‍♂️

Have you tried yoga?
What about kale? Chia seeds? Vindaloo?
Not getting older, have you tried that one? I got the best results by telling my cells to stop aging.
Seriously though chia seeds are fucking magic.

¿Por qué no ambos?

What a horrible day to be literate

Sounds like you need more high-quality fiber in your diet.

My recommendation for anyone that is having poo problems is muesli.

You can usually get it in the bulk goods aisle of your local store, assuming that the store has that. At my local winco, they sell it for about two dollars a pound.

You dump about a cup or two into a bowl, fill that bowl with milk. It's okay if you use a plant substitute, then top it with some plain yogurt and some berries and a little bit of sugar or honey or maple syrup.

Stick it in the fridge for a couple of hours or overnight.

And enjoy, it's just a little parfait with some granola, it's not a big deal.

But I promise you, two or three days of eating that, you will have the easiest poop of your entire life. That combo will clear out stuff that's been sitting in your colon since high school.

Also, make them feel like it's a massive shit and end being a tiny nugget.

Violet!?

You know that's not the quote

This was me and I turned out to have celiac.

But that's half the fun

Get a Japanese floor toilet, then you can do both.

Thank you.

Yes, but for me it was lactose

Jack in the Box breakfast burrito for me.

Finally a decent shit post

All meat none of that pussy fiber shit.

Check out the side effects of colchine. Fun times!

weird, you were just talking about how great your diet is.

Tijuana Donkey Show
50.0666932N, 121.5433053W
https://mapy.com/s/balesenora
?

Decent post, great username

Good lord how I miss Winco

Hi fellow celiac!

Water, lots of water

You're describing what it feels like the last couple hours when preparing for a colonoscopy.

Also, the body doesn't stop sucking water from poop so one needs to make sure the bowel movements don't have too many hours in between else all that fiber will turn to stone and cause haemorrhoids due to evential strains

For someone changing diets, this might not be obvious

Condom? Why reinvent the sausage when they already have the perfect sausage making device: the Diaper Genie.

Here I sit all broken hearted

Had to shit but only farted.

Whatever last years recalls were that landed me in the hospital and then the lettuce thing for me.

You need to repent and let kale into your life

Something's in my a**

(Invidious link)