cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/58416724

I’m a German nurse unhappy with nursing and I’m in my 40s.

I wrote I need because my current job as a nurse is physically extremely demanding and I know I don’t want to do this till I retire. My life cannot be to hope to advance in this field by moving up to a position within the hospital where I don’t actually have to work bedside. In Germany nurses don’t need a bachelor to practice, they only need an apprenticeship (Ausbildung).

Something I always liked as a child is music, either the classical guitar or the piano, so I talked to 2 professors, one for piano, the other one for classical and electric guitar. There is no question that east Asians dominate the piano market, they are insanely good and securing a spot in a piano bachelor would be very difficult, but a bachelor of classical and electric guitar is not as looked after like the piano, which could be my way to do something I enjoy, earn more than now with regular, predictable working hours, small groups of students when I finish the bachelor and stop doing something that’s physically destroying me.

About job options after I finish the bachelor, the professor I talked to, a classical guitarist with several prizes I’m not naming said that nowadays all kinds of music teachers are retiring and he constantly gets calls asking for new guitar teachers, that all his students who finish the bachelor have contracts even before finishing the bachelor and the figures he offered regarding salaries are higher than what I earn now, because I’d have a bachelor.

Now I don’t know if this professor is overselling his program, but this is a renowned music school in a city next to mine, which means its close, I wouldn’t have to move and the bachelor would cost me nothing but 100 Euros per semester, provided I prepare for a year for the admission exam, checking my progress every 3 months with this professor, something this musical school offers free of charge and actually passing the exam.

I don’t believe this professor was lying: salary figures I checked match what he said and he proposed I prepare for the exam, check with him my progress and if I get admitted, study for a year to see if I like it, because I can always use my apprenticeship as a nurse to work nursing, radiology instead of bedside nursing or work for a healthcare insurance company. If I do this I’d work part time during the bachelor.

I’ve been playing the classical guitar for the last 8 years if that helps and I learned musical theory and piano as a child.

The other option would be to study a bachelor of science and become a physician assistant, but to do this on a respectable public university and not with a private, online diploma mill that only wants my money I’d have to relocate, which is something very risky (new city, new hospital, no social contacts), or pay for a second flat for 4 years, which would be expensive. The medical side of nursing has always interested me and I enjoy explaining organs to patients, and I’m not ready to simply ignore the last 7 years of my life, the time I’ve been working as a nurse, but bedside, as said, is killing me, but relocating 3 hours away for 4 years...

I’m split. Both paths offer a way out of my current situation. I wouldn’t mind working as a guitar teacher for the rest of my life, nor would I mind working as a physician assistant.

I've done it 2 times, I'm about to do it for a 3rd.

I worked in fast food, got up to management, then decided I really didn't enjoy it. Applied to a bunch of places, a bank ended up hiring me. Started as a teller, got up to management again, decided I didn't like banking. Went to nursing school, got my bachelor's and my RN, started working in the hospital. Decided I don't really enjoy it, so I applied for an advanced practice / nurse practitioner program, got in. In one year I'll get my masters, then take my boards, then I could open a clinic if I wanted to. Or join an existing practice, or even go back to working in the hospital, but diagnosing and prescribing instead of following orders and administering medications.

I've always been willing to try new things, and it's okay to try something new. Just don't burn any bridges on your journey and you'll likely find a lot of support

Here in the US there are plenty of guitar players but my dad encouraged me to play the bass. He said there was always demand for bass players, both electric and acoustic. I didn't pursue it though. That was for jazz, which is what he was into. Dunno about other genres.

If you like healthcare but don't like nursing, can you go to medical school and become an MD?

The best advice I have is to prepare. Make sure you have enough in savings to survive the transition. Search for your future job while at your current one. Understand your expenses and minimize them during the transition.

Also, I'm aware of many nursing positions that are less physically demanding and amount to office jobs. My reference is in the usa, so you're mileage may vary.

If I could teach full time,I would. I envy your ambitions. Keep going.

So I've changed careers a few times:

1. Out of college, I did construction management in NYC metro for several years (while doing a MS at night)
2. After quitting construction I thru-hiked the AT
3. Then moved to Canada and worked for the Canadian Red Cross for a few years
4. Then I became a Data Scientist which I still do

Lessons learnt along the way:

• Knowing what I dont want is as important as knowing what I want
• I'm going to be fine
• I don't need to map out every detail to be successful
• I define success for myself

In your case, it seems like you have something you want to change and two great options. I did relocate to another country and was several timezones away from my community for years and while being away for a chapter in life presented some challenges, I'm glad I did it and glad I was able to come home.

Just quick read the text. I started a second bachelor at 28ish and finished in my 30s. Employers abuse that fact and treat me like B candidate despite "very good" grades. Also in germany and Software was still sought after at the time. Ultimately i earn abt. the same wage as someone from a 3rd world country w/o A-level and with a crash course. Anyway the former branch wasnt really hiring so this is a good outcome after all.

I want you to consider these things: within the nurse branch, can you do certificates, fortbildungen landing you an office position? like frontdesk. Or as you mentioned radiology, insurance companies. Radiology might be worth looking into here. Still need the organ knowledge, right?

Regarding physically exhausting job; can you train your muscles? I had back pain and an abs roller helped me alot.

Not sure about studying music. Seems like a long path with questionable outcome. Exams are stressfull and basically failing them could destroy years of work. Doubling this with working on the side you will have a bad time. Really depends on how good you are actually but if you're that good at it or music in general why study it at all. Is it a precondition for those job offers? One of these classic guitar grandmaster/teachers said in an interview, he wakes up early and trains for
hours each day stoic hand movements. This doesnt sound fun nor feasible with working on the side.

You have options as a nurse. There are companies that hire nurses for non physical work, like call centers that man "ask a nurse" lines for example. There are even legal specialists that have medical backgrounds, and data-centeic jobs like handling medical records that hire trained nurses to make triage-like decisions based only on the records.

Your medical background and experience is valuable to people outside that industry too!

If you're ok with some physically demanding aspects but the people side of things gets to you, being a veterinarian or adjacent role might be a good compromise.

I spent 12 years in a job that was killing me. Probably literally.

I switched careers, found better employment, and I've since lost 150 pounds (though gained 60 back), bought a home, paid off my student loans, and I'm so, so much happier.

Life is a huge risk, but a new gig can be life-changing in a good way.

The only thing I'd say with switching careers right now is that you 100% should not do it if the next gig isn't 100% lined up and in the bag, because getting employed in the first place is harder now than it's been in decades.

Life is too short to not pursue your passion.

My advice: go for it. If it's something you truly want to do, you will find a way to make it work.

There are compromises that have to be made and some can be hard to adjust to, especially if you are used to a certain level of comfort in your life BUT you can always go back to nursing if you want.

I've had 4 major careers and started at the bottom at each one. It does get harder (on the ego at least) to do that as you get older but it can be done.

My first two careers were out of economic necessity. In my mid 30s I decided I had enough of low paying dead end jobs and from that point forward I refused to work any job that didn't somewhat interest me.

By sticking to that principle, in the last 6 years I have doubled my income.

Now I am about to go into early semi-retirement so I can live out the rest of my life doing whatever I want with my free time. Like you, I've also worn my body out and can't do the work I used to as well.

Again, compromises, I will probably have to budget very frugally but that is the exchange I am willing to live with.

Think about the probable last 10 or 15 years of your life. If you suspect that you might look back and greatly regret not pursuing your passion for music, then you know what you need to do now.

As for how to handle the change... just know that most good things involve a degree of risk. A few years ago I started a business. It was very scary. And did not go as well as I had hoped. Thankfully it didn't completely ruin me but it took a big chunk out of life and ended up putting my deep in debt which I am just now about to climb out of.

And you know what? I don't regret it one bit. I learned a lot and it actually enabled the last career change which put me in the position to be able to do the early retirement.

So, the lesson here is that staying in one position in life guarantees that you will most likely continue to get what you got. And that's fine, especially if it's where you want to be. But by taking a few risks, not all of which will work out- that's always a possibility, greater things are possible. Even if those greater things are simply living a more fulfilling life.

Hope that helps. Good luck.

Not in my 40s, but at the age of 37 I changed career completely (again) and returned to an industry I had left "for good" ten years prior.*

Some might argue that [certain age] is too late to change career, but I counter with [certain age] being too late to still work a dead-end job you strongly dislike.

If you're anything like me, handing in that three month notice, or whatever you have will immediately feel like a mistake. Heart racing, second thoughts, and every other version of doubt. But if you line up something new beforehand you'll be alright.

As for wasting time, no. Stop comparing yourself against those psychopaths who knew what they wanted to do from the age of 16. I didn't know what I wanted to be until 40 because that's when my career actually started to feel "right" in that I like what I do, and I don't see myself doing anything else.**
You're not wasting time, you're learning valuable lessons. And having a skillset and a career you can return to if th8ngs don't go way is only a positive.

*: The last thing I heard when calling it a night during crew change after way too many beers was a coworker telling me "Oh you'll be back. I simply can't imagine you as anything else than a doodlebugger". If you're reading this, Eric, you were right.

**: On the few bad days I have at work I still half-jokingly state "fuckit, I'm leaving for the closest big construction project. Imma be a crane driver from now on.". It seems pretty chill to sit alone in that tower all day, just lifting stuff from A to B. I've driven a lot of huge offshore cranes, and those huge tower cranes seem comparatovely easy when you don't have to account for lists, swells, shock loading, and roll/pitch.

I was in the police for 13 years. It was supposed to be a life long career. It was who I was, I was good at it, respected in the community I was responsible for (I'd worked the same patch all that time).

Then at the age of 33 I just started to get disillusioned. The job wasn't fun anymore, we never had enough staff, the area I had to cover kept getting bigger and bigger. I went from proactive, preventative community policing to being just another uniform turning up in a car.

So I started looking around, found a job in the civil service on significantly less money and quit. It was fucking terrifying. Handing in my notice was one of the hardest decisions I'd ever made.

Fucking glad I did though, I've never looked back.

I was a sys admin at one company for just under 10 years. I left to another company to become a software developer, but ended up as a Servicenow admin for 2 years. Now I've a full stack dev. It's been tough sledding since I came into this role with only a single year of coding in college some scripting skills I learned in my previous system admin job, and some sell learning using free online resources. I'm still way off from where I want to be skill wise, but I'm good enough that I can do most of my work with minimal assistance. I do feel inadequate a lot of the time because I'm surrounded by people with experience, but I'm pretty intelligent, can learn concept quickly, and I put in the work to get better. Being on a supportive team has been the best thing for me. All said, I've had the best growth in my career since I moved to my dev role compared to the past 12+ years, both financially and in skills.

Coming from someone who should have left his system admin job 5+ years before I did, I encourage you to take any opportunities you can get to not be miserable in your work life. I took a pay cut to move companies, and it was worth every penny, especially since I'm making more now than before with much better benefits. If I stay with my company for the rest of my career, I can work for the next ~18 years and retire before 60 thanks to offered benefits.

PA school is another can of worms like nursing is. different schooling. in the US they do make bank though, at least for nursing. probably wasting your time, its basically a lateral move to something adjacent. they must pay nursing low in GERMANY? in the us you have a chance to become a traveling nurse which afford you way more freedom then a hospital staff.

hard to say what you need to do next, because , guitar doesnt seem marketable as a job? probably need to look at something adjacent to what you are doing now, rather than pivot to an unknown territory. i would look at degree/fields and research thier ability to get jobs.

I went self-employed 3 years ago. Hands down the most terrifying decision of my life. I felt physically sick due to how anxious I was about it.

Possibly the best thing I've ever done or will ever do.

For me personally physical location would be overwhelmingly important. Long commutes I have grudgingly come to accept, but to completely move to a new place again, after I found my peer group here just a few years ago... because of work ... depressing to even contemplate.

Because yeah, I'm in a similar situation. Bit older than you, and I have no major issues with my job, but I lost one and have a hard time finding work in this new location. Might be a temporary setback... But I'm a decade ahead of you and this just might be the market's way of slowly putting me out to pasture.

I also think that answers/advice are going to be very different depending on the country the answerer has worked in, grown up in.

I graduated it at your age. Before I worked as a plant operator, decided to get my engineering degree because I didn't want to work continuous shifts anymore. It took me six years while working my old job. Lot's of second guessing and even dispair in one case, but also lot's of fun. I switched jobs after graduation, which I had done before. Switching jobs will always make me second guess after 2-3 months, but in the end it has always worked out. I'd say go for it, while nurses are generally appreciated by their patients, they get treated like shit by their employers. I do get why you don't want to relocate, I didn't do it either. In the end I studied in a city one hour drive away from where I live. Before I started there, I first had some talks to them on how to do my studies long distance, and we worked out a way where I would drive to university once a week, maybe more during exam weeks.

As an aside, I live close to the German border, and saw lot's of German students in our university (studying is cheaper over here I think). Depending on where you live, this might be something worth looking into.