Growing up, I’ve always heard that we were living in the end times. That one day, something will happen that will punish everyone who deserves to be punished. At least, that’s what I was told. But does that mean everyone will be punished? Or, will some be spared? What happens to those who were chosen to be spared? Would they die like the bad people, or would they continue to live?

Or, would being able to live be the punishment?

I think about this a lot. Because I was born into this world of misery and death, does that mean that I’m a bad person? That I was chosen to be punished? But why? I didn’t choose to be born.

So…why am I here then?

Ah grew up in a doomsday death cult

Not really. It's just something I heard from the more religious people I knew

There's your answer. Religious views often lacks that crucial nuance of logic, usually when the point is to blindly place your trust for the future (in some mystic all-knowing, always good-natured spirit) or to serve as some kind of soothing explanation for things hard to find a reason for, are conflicting, like in your example.

My personal opinion is that some people need that comfort in order to cope with things beyond their control. The same lack of scientific/reasonability that is confusing is at the same time the comfort they need. To someone who isn't sold to this mindset, it can easily lead to confusion and frustration, because it simply goes against any logic applied in any other context in a modern society.

The whole 'god has a plan for everything' feels like basically what this statement stems from. The idea that as long as you stick your head down and stay in line, a higher spirit will apparently at some point suddenly decide it's time to interfere with humanity and see that those who obeyed the (religious) rules will be rewarded and the bad people (I.e., who ever that doesn't share the religion's specific morals) will finally face justice. It's a comforting idea if you are open to it, kind of in the same ballpark as placing your trust/hope in a mythical idea of a structural, global revolution that just happens to support your specific ideals. Only difference is that the latter is scientifically possible to theoretically happen at least.

You're looking for rationality where no rationality can be.

Believing in a deity and afterlife (etc) is irrational because there is absolutely no supporting evidence. Faith is maintaining that belief despite it being irrational.

Certain branches of Christianity are a "death cult" as they obsess over the "end times" and that they're either already here or just around the corner.

I know, but a part of me thinks "what if they're right?" for the punishment. The shit I've been going through for the past years, things I have no control over, have made me think we're meant to be all suffering. A close family member of mine has been sick and we're all feeling the mental effects of it. Constant news of death and disease in the world, myself and others can't can't find a good fucking job to save our fucking life. Waking up to another rejection email, another story of someone dying, another bad case of bad news, and not a single good thing happening is really giving me the impression that life isn't the gift that it's all cracked up to be.

(No, I'm not thinking of checking out. Shit just sucks.)

"what if they're right?"

I just want to answer to that part. There have been thousands of religions on this earth in the last 5000 years. Most of them are directly contradicting each other and only regionally and for a certain time active.

If there were a true belief with divine power behind it, wouldn't it make sense, that that one is everywhere and for all time? The abrahmistic religions have the advantage that they contain a strong part of missionary actions and were bound to powerful warlords at the right time to be at the center of mighty empires.

And christianity has the big problem of arguing for an all benevolent, allknowing, all powerful god while also saying this world is shit. So their argument isn't exactly strong even within their own logic.

Other religions are more logically consistent inside itself at least. Nordic and Greek religions answer to the bad world is simple: gods are fallible and egoistic bastards just like us, so of course the world they govern is shaped by those traits.

So please don't believe one cult just because they have the regional dominance around you. It wasn't there 3000 years ago (for very few exceptions), so why would it be true then?

And to the rest of your comment: yeah, life sucks sadly. I don't have a true answer, I'm still searching myself. But at least we have better material conditions than even the most powerful people even 300 years ago. Better medicine, better food and entertainment. Enjoy what you can, be nice to your fellow sentient beings and try to leave the world a better place by your actions than it was before you arrived (and the focus really is: Your actions, you can't change the dictatos of this world by yourself).

Death cult ideology isn't rational.

So they were the ones in the cult.

Maybe. I dunno. I tried to distance myself regardless

They're not. The universe is stochastic and chaotic. Stuff happens, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, most of the time it's irrelevant.

The problem is that there are enough truly evil people in the world that they can cause problems for everyone else.

take a few steps back.

"what if they're right?"

are these the same people that are making the world a worse place, supporting it or selling a solution?

when you take a step back a lot of those interests align. a small group of extremely wealthy people are trying to create the narrative of hopelessness, despair, fear, violence and putting the blame on anything but themselves.

almost all of modern media is meant to break the spirit and force you to comply. who owns those sources?

algorithmic content is meant to increase engagement. they do not care about anyone's mental health anymore as that's the last thing that stands in the way of wealth extraction and forcing civil compliance.

something will happen that will punish everyone who deserves to be punished.

Just world fallacy. The world is not just, those that deserve punishment rarely, if ever, get it.