The pathological need to make your baby everyone else's business needs to be studied

[Start running with the baby]

As a parent, I get so many people that are so thrilled to hold the baby (why?? It’s a droll machine! My very own droll machine that I live but why do you want a part of it?) that it becomes normal to offer the droll machine around. Obviously, I am also not an asshole and accept the nos, and also accept that some people pretty much disappeared from my life because they don’t want to deal with the drool machine or all the constraints of the droll machine.

Human evolution

Because we're a social animal species

Yeah. It is very hard to understand unless you experience it. I think it's a change in brain chemistry but could also be trauma from the stress and lack of sleep. 🤷

Guess I evolved wrong then because I want nothing to do with the little fuckers.

Well in this case the baby is a dog so…

Ok wise guy then explain why nobody talks to me :(

Yes! I will happily hold almost any baby of almost any species.

Step one. Get a baby.

1/6 correct not bad.

Now that I can work with

Yeah, generally speaking if my "brain chemistry" needs to change for me to understand something, that sounds more like trauma than rationality

Is that why everyone's distancing themselves from everyone else as soon as they get money?

I will 100% hold the baby.
Dog baby or baby baby.
its time to fall asleep on the couch, watching Star Trek.

Its not
" look at the cute thing you must want to hold it"
its
" please take the cute thing. I am exhausted & NEED A FREAKING SECOND."

Yeah evolution is pretty shit. It is just good enough to not completely wipe out all life on its own.

Well puppies ARE much cuter than human children of any age.

That's just an objective fact and not at all my subjective opinion!

Now that I can do 🙏

A golden retriever puppy doesn't have an oversized head that looks like it'll snap off if handled improperly

This aligns with my personal opinion therefore it must be the objective truth.

The baby what exactly?

I mean, they are more durable, have better grip, and don't grow up to vote for MAGA

Unsurprising opinion considering you're a viking..

That is 100% true. Objectively your genes are an evolutionary dead end.

“I don’t hate all babies, just human ones”

Perfection! No notes.

(Except this comment, which I guess is a type of "note", perchance...?)