John is an asshole.

Cindy is clumsy.

Ethan provide a vital release of pent-up anger and frustration with the leadership.

Ethan is not touching you in any way, he's just doing his own thing, so the answer must be A or B. Depends if you hate Cindy or John more.

Dang. Is it this time of year again?

John compared your promotion to cooked meat and is laying hands on you without warrant. John is harassing.

Cindy is on the clock and working. No complaints filed on her behalf regarding any cramped or confined work conditions. Cindy is doing well.

Ethan was contracted to clear a stuck pig diagnostic tool inside a petroleum industrial mainline pipe. He called for traction materials to his teammates so he could safely navigate thru the extreme challenging environment. Ethan is doing his job well.

SALT THE SNAIL!

John put them up to this to combat the old meme

Oddly specific

Word around the office is you got a fat cock.
I got a fat cock too.
Maybe we should rub our fat cocks together sometime.
Maybe a little oil?

Don’t touch me, John.

Has to be A, it says B was an accident, not an assumed accident.

David had repeated accidents... a serial accidentalist if you will. HR doesn't like to talk about David.

Ethan covered himself in oil

It must be Wednesday; I could never get the hang of Wednesdays... --Douglas Adams

Christmas parties right around the corner, in the supply closet, behind the filing cabinets...

0 to 60 in three choices.

This reminds me of employee orientation I went through at an old job. There were videos on the usual things like sexual harrassment, workplace/industrial safety, etc.

The video on racial discrimination actually had some examples of what not to do.

What I remember was a white employee asking a black employee about why do mexicans always drive low riders, the black employee was all idk, white employee says “it’s so they can pick lettuce without having to get out of the car!”, and both laughed hysterically.

Those of us in the training room were looking at each other like ummmmm wtf?

Isn't it... isn't it Thursdays?

Ya know, at least Ethan isn't touching you

You would not believe how many trainings like this one I completed with a score close to 100% just by picking the longest answers.

Inspired by the “Diversity Day” episode of The Office, no doubt.

it was but today isn't for me atm :)

So,

• someone googled "racist joke",
• decided to include it into a presentation on how not to be racist,
• decided they themselves don't want to be racist, so the joke should be told between people of different skin color, and
• at no point did they get up and just walk into the woods, never to return to human society again.

That's certainly not the choices I would've made, but sure.

But Ethan does ask me to throw salt on him and I really don't like the way he moans when I oblige.

none of these are harassment?

And for all I know, he was a bad little slug.

He’s a bad little slug. 😏

Oh man, that's a good point. The longest answer is likely either the ridiculous answer when you're supposed to catch the odd one out, or when you're supposed to pick the correct answer, then it's likely the nuanced take.

I had not thought about it this much yet, but I've definitely also started only reading the short answers, if none of the long answers sound right.

Ethan is a bad little slug

If it matters, explaining without excusing, this was around 2008 when I started the job, and the video, which was on an actual VHS tape, looked to be from the first half of the nineties.

Speaking of old videos from the nineties, I had jury duty a little while back.

The orientation video seemed to be from the same era, and the person on the video spoke about how we need to refrain from news on the television and newspaper, and then cut to a slide with no audio, just text stating also news on the internet or social media like facebook or myspace.

It's a very inclusive workplace.

Obviously A. Ethan didn't touch me, and Cindy only on accident.

Also I wasn't promoted, so that pervert John must be insinuating that he can get me promoted in exchange for unspecified “services”. I wouldn't feel safe around him.

Hey, John, keep your gods damned hands to yourself you fucking creep. Hope you have a good attorney.

A.

Clearly, A.

I got one once where you got an email (when sending "fun" emails was a thing) with a racist joke. What to do??

A) report

Etc.

C) forward to the team

D) forward to the team, But only of it was really funny

😬

Dropping this without context

I know this is a joke, but what the actual fuck is that slug story. I am laughing my ass off reading it 😂.

There's not enough salt in the world!

Ethan didn't touch me without consent.

All of this.

C isn't harassment it's just a nervous breakdown at work. The guy doing unsolicited touching on the other hand...

Good thing you can say these ...

John is the boss and old, he just grew in another time.

Ethan is that weird guy that the company cannot afford to lose at any cost.

Evidently it is Cindy, and she will claim she was the victim, make false accusations and go on twitter.

/s

If he did, he'd be a bad little slug boy.

Me when I regional small web instead of the world wide web

These comments got me confused, yes John touches someone on the back, but like the back isn't sexually motivated?? All the answers are not harassment perse, at least not without some extra context. But when I read the comments I think that you all are just extra touch sensitive (possibly because of some worse experiences or with extra context, which is fair - don't get me wrong)

In real life, work harassment often looks like B.
How many times has Cindy "accidentally" spilled coffee over you? She's just so clumsy lol lol.

The commenters may be a tad sarcastic in their comments

Depends on the company. If you work at blizzard then you get the rape room or they send you to the bill cosby suite