Ubuntu is the tinfoil hat guy who believes weird stuff but people still follow her because she is loud

Alpine is minimal. That kid would show up in one piece pajamas because it serves the job of pants, shirt, underwear, and sweater+hood (if it comes with a hood).

Slackware: Just sits there quietly and tries to blend in, but wears a plaid 3-piece-suit and smokes a pipe.

a student is outdated?

I was thinking Ubuntu is the one who follows people around and steps on the heels of their shoes while they walk, but has loads of "friends" because they have money.

That fits as well 😁

don't forget their lunchbox (BusyBox)

Ubuntu is always trying to sell you stuff by forcing it into random unrelated conversations

Apparently there are no women in Linuxville?

You fucked OP's mom.

I think Slackware would be more:

Sits in the back of the room quietly working, well wearing a three piece plaid suit and smoking a pipe. Depending on the day the pipe may contain tobacco, marijuana, and/or mushrooms. Still uses a slide ruler because its stable tech.

Nah Fedora's a girl, sorry that's how you find out your mom is gay

Even though I find it likely that you detected an actual bias in the design of the meme, I don't see any explicit indications of Manjaro's, Fedora's or Alpine's genders.

Debian

everyone likes him

Press X for Highly Doubt

They’re still not wrong; they’d be girls, not women.

I feel the word reliable is missing for Debian.

Slackware is the ancient teacher still using chalk and a blackboard threatening to beat misbehaving kids.

Loving family, lots of friends, wealthy, intelligent, very cute pets.

Fedora and Alpine have no chill lol

Really? What do people have against Debian?

Obsolete. No WiFi drivers ever. (Might be false by now.) Always breaks during major upgrades (that’s only my experience, so I could be wrong here too). But hey, it’s obsolete!

Don’t break Debian, they say.

lol NixOS shows up every day with their younger sibling that is somehow smarter than them but yesterday they were the younger sibling

Endeavour: Openly has a crush on arch, but is too lazy to put effort into dating.

Debian - A little boring and outdated, but friendly and reliable. Everyone likes him.

Like this?

I use Arch btw

Mint, or/and Bazite?

Meme needs to be revised to this

It better be a batman lunchbox.

Packaging system has faulty validation.

Still uses memes from 10 years ago

Mint - nice and polite kid, doesn't smell bad

NixOs is the one in the corner playing with their imaginary friends.

I use arch but don't want people to talk to me

Fedora has new parents that are rich, but nobody likes because they're antisocial.

Sorry about your mom btw

Bazzite: The kid with rich parents who has built three gaming PCs in the past year, just to keep his hardware up-to-date… But he only uses them to emulate games that are at least 10 years old. He also thinks RAID is a backup. He happily parrots whatever last week’s tech blogger was posting about, but he gets some big parts of it wrong because he only read the AI generated summaries.

manjaro also frequently steps on his own glasses and can't see without them.

alpine should have some minimalist edc stuff but nothing fancy and doesn't do anything else that stands out

Always offering gum and tic taks to everyone.

Takes the new kids under their wing.

25000 words, high school AU enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort slash

Ubuntu is the annoying self-diagnosed kid that demands the whole class be run to his bizarre standards to the detriment of all the other students.

Poor OpenSuse.
The exchange student. Pivotal to the group project. Everybody loves them when their arpund but no one mentions them

Mint is probably the first years' teacher who still hasn't burned out

Up to my newest laptop (which is over 4yo now), debian always had working wifi drivers from the live distro.

For a real "no wifi drivers ever", try SliTaz. It doesn't have working drivers even on my 2012 asus laptop

I’ve been with Debian through 2000s and 2010s, and if you’re someone not knowing this foss vs proprietary thing, it’s quite difficult to explain why there’s no WiFi drivers and that you need to do some complex hoops to get this working. I had no WiFi on most laptops I interacted with, all the time.

However, fair to say that just this week I had a Fedora installation for a friend’s MacBook from 2009, and we faced no WiFi thing either. Had to install Broadcom drivers separately. So, I myself understand why there’s no drivers included, but it’s not what’s easy to explain this to someone migrating off Windows. Otherwise Debian is good, but I use it only for single board computers.

Friendly, trustworthy and reliable! 😁

Give the arch and gentoo users a couple months 🤣