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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2026-02-24 17:59:52+00:00.

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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwawayveg8779

I [30M] hate my GFs [27 F] online persona even though I love her

TRIGGER WARNING: Social media addiction

Original Post Jan 13, 2016

I love my GF, we have been together for about 8 months, and we have a great relationship blah blah blah but… her online social media personality is just unbearable. If you google “list of most annoying social media habits”, she pretty much does every single one. She is a rampant social media over sharer. Her snapchat documents every remotely interesting thing that happens to her every day from pictures of her breakfast, to mirror selfies, to funny stories about her day. At night, after being apart for 12 hours, she will begin to tell me about her day and I find myself saying repeatedly “yah, I saw that on snapchat / facebook / instagram already”. Every even remotely interesting thing that happens to her I find out about through social media. Her facebook is full of rants detailing the ups and downs of her mood or humble brags about all the good deeds she has done, while her instagram is all pictures of herself. She is the definition of a social media attention seeker. Between fb, instagram, snapchat, and her blog, she probably posts 20 times a day.

My friends / family who meet her in person all say she is sweet, kind, and funny, but once they start following her social media accounts they all say she seems kind of irritating and vain. In the beginning, I tried to just accept her online persona (to each their own or something), but is it becoming increasingly a point of contention. If I only knew her from her online personality I frankly wouldn’t like her, but I know she isn’t actually like that. I think she is just insecure and likes the attention, because in person she is actually a very sweet person. The other interesting thing is that she has not always been like this. In the beginning of our relationship she had no snapchat, no instagram, and barely posted to facebook. This all started rather suddenly 4 months into the relationship and I don’t know to stop hating it.

I don’t know how to explain to her that her social media postings make her appear cocky/vain/rude/selfish and I don’t think mesh with her own impression of how she is. Additionally, I find that her constant social media life updates have taken away my feeling of significance in her life. I feel like any people who follow her accounts now know about as much about her life as I do. I’ve tried to bring up this subject with her recently and I find her becoming very defensive about it. I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to control her (which I think is how it sounds). She wants me to just accept this as part of her. She says its just social media, its not that serious, and she doesn’t know why I’m making such a big deal of it. And maybe she is right, but I don’t know how to get over this.

tl;dr: I love my GF but I hate her online persona and its making me dislike her too.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

NotToastedStruedel

Stop following her social media accounts.

OOP

I'm not sure if thats the best or worst advice ever, but I like it either way.

sagittamusic

It's excellent advice. Tell her that you feel like you're living in a constant spoiler alert and you want to hear about her day when she tells you about it instead of on social media.

mogmog

Next she'll start complaining that you're not liking her posts!

OOP

That's happened already :-(

OOP adds how it's affecting her professional life

"Colossal waste of time" is basically exactly how I feel about it all. And it makes it hard for me to sympatheize with her when she starts talking about how busy, or stressed, or tired she is because I can see she has snapchatted 20 times during the day instead of getting work done.

&

She isn't a student, but her job is a freelance gig she does from home. So yes she does use it as an easy distraction when she is stressed.

Update Jan 20, 2016 (1 week later)

Here is the maybe not unexpected update. I decided to go with the ignorance is bliss approach. I deleted snapchat, deleted instagram, and unfollowed her on facebook. She noticed right away, like immediately, it was actually a little scary. She was really confused at first and asked what was up. It gave me the opportunity to reiterate that reading her constant social media updates made me uncomfortable and unhappy. I explained that I’ve tried to discuss it with her before, but she became really defensive, so this was the only way.

She seemed to accept this for about a day and I felt so much better, so much lighter. But the peace was short lived and she quickly became enraged. She was furious that I didn’t discuss this with her before doing it and in her eyes I took a pretty drastic step without talking to her first. While I understand her point of view, I stand by the decision. I’m sure she would have been just as mad if I had actually given her all my reasoning beforehand.

Our fighting spiraled unexpectedly out of control. She was fixated on the idea that her social media persona wasn’t that bad. It was part of her personality and she needed someone who loved all of her. She did not accept my actions as constructive criticism, but instead as a direct insult. Simply ignoring that part of her was an unacceptable compromise. I sent her an article that highlighted why her postings make her appear really self absorbed, but her response was “Is that really so bad?” She was too stubborn to even admit that being self absorbed was a negative quality and instead delivered a long pointless diatribe on why selfishness and vanity are positive qualities. We argued for a few hours and ultimately decided that we were not compatible. This was unexpectedly important to her and I was unable to just stop hating her social media persona.

So we broke up. Thaaaaaanks reddit :)

tl;dr: GF's online persona is unbearable and it is making me like her less. I unfollow her on all social media. She gets very angry and we break up. :( How did this happen?

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Op deleted accounts and could have said it was just a social media cleanse but GF was angry about it. Wonder if it was the impression she was single online made her upset.