DM a D&D campaign is the answer to this

In my experience, people are generally shocked when you actually do that and some may reconsider their friendship.

The chances of being in that situation are rather slim, however there's another activity for which you can dramatically clear out a desk in one big sweep that is more probable, you do need a consenting partner though.

Some meth fueled, high testosterone bro already did that in 1936 - 1945. Also he draw and paint.

Same thing but with room for having sex. Honestly, fuck the desk, I just want to get laid.

Apparently ones annual performance review is not that opportunity. The search continues.

As long as you get the desk's consent have fun and play safe. Watch for splinters. They can ruin the relationship.

In your experience? Can you tell us more?

Okay, but after that, can we go over the plan please? I brought the map and everything.

I had the chance to do this once. It was the plan to abduct our friend for his bacholers.

Everyone was glad to see the monopoly board go.

Try the ghostbusters version.

You must have confused me with some US VP. I don't fuck furniture.

You could work in IT as a Scrum master and start your Sprint Planning meetings like that.

"OK, here's what we're looking at"

"So you see, anyway you look at it, my plan is doomed to fail."

"...unless...." swipes giant map off table to make room for an even bigger map

Hey, would you please text me when you’re done with the boinky doinky? Your adventure sounds pretty cool and I’m down.

Couch? Ew, no! That's disgusting. But a nice sexy desk...there's a world of possibility. I'm a fan of 1950s heavy wooden teacher's desks myself. Thicc.

Make a plan to solve world hunger and I will bring the table.

Become a sailor

MY LAPTOP!

I did it!!
The plan in question was window shopping but I did it nevertheless and it was GREAT!

Also, don't forget to tighten her up once in a while.

If my partner said this, I'd make a scavenger game around the city, a giant map, put a bunch of plastic stuff on the table, hand her the map and say "We need space to see it!"

No one's seen that lad since. Didn't show up at the wedding and people have been looking to this day

You can set up either ahead of time with a little planning!

Yeah but I want an excuse to have to do this for a real life adventure, not an imaginary one.

Honestly, fuck the desk, I just want to get laid.

Seems unconventional, but you do you! (Or the desk...)

Unsealed liquids and fragile things be damned! The plan is time sensitive.

Listen to me Matt, do you want your wife and child back or not‽

Ok then! So grab the c-4 & some peanut butter and I'll meet you in the dog grooming van with the buttplugs. Let's move!

O he showed up at the wedding. But he has been missing since. Now I am working on the rescue plan.

Just discuse it at aliens, half of us would just go along with it, lol

The real life adventure was navigating schedule conflicts all along

Convince everyone that his wife is an alien that is probing him. I like it!