Explanation: Cicero was a politician in the Late Roman Republic, whose writings have remained widely read into the modern day for their skilled use of rhetoric and the Latin language.

... he was also an insufferable spineless weasel who loved to praise himself. And a literal slumlord.

Socrates comes to mind. Hanging around a market with props just to argue with people? No wonder they killed him.

Although being Gr**k is already pretty annoying.

Athens to Socrates: "Literally kys"

At least Socrates himself didn't write down anything. He (or at least his philosophy) might even be a fabrication of his Friend Plato, who wasn't only a philosopher, but also a competitive boxer, a skill which he used to convince people of his arguments by challenging them to a fight.

Wow, I'd never heard that theory before!

who wasn’t only a philosopher, but also a competitive boxer, a skill which he used to convince people of his arguments by challenging them to a fight.

They don't make them like they used to. (If you have some kind of point about how that's not very intellectually honest, I will challenge you to a fight. /s)

Soo was Diogenes a good fighter too? I feel like the thing with the plucked chicken would have been provocative even if the speaker isn't prone to violence.

Wow, I’d never heard that theory before!

Socrates being entirely made up by Plato is less of a theory and more of a joke, this is a meme community after all. The part of Plato being a boxer, and using this fact to reinforce his arguments, however is true.

Soo was Diogenes a good fighter too? I feel like the thing with the plucked chicken would have been provocative even if the speaker isn’t prone to violence.

No idea, but it is well known that he was very good at doing things like wanking in the middle of market square in broad daylight.

I'm sure there was a reason or another for people not getting violent for all the things he did. If I had to guess, from the fact of him living in an old barrel, I'd infer that nobody wanted to touch him due to his surely poor personal hygiene.