One week before coming out at work (scheduled and planned with HR), chatting with some ladies at team happy hour and just fitting into the conversation so naturally that one of them said "[dead name], you're the solution to men"

I nearly spit out my drink.

This reminds me of something: it does really suck that we can't offer any insights on how to improve toxic masculinity. Like, we might have lived needing to conform to it for a long time, but our way out of those expectations wouldn't work for actual men. It really does need to be cis and trans men leading the charge, because we certainly can't.

We can still provide unique insight and perspective on the problems; seeing the matrix code of gender helps clearly see and deconstruct those gender norms.
But you're correct on offering solutions that aren't shedding masculinity

Transitioning is definitely the solution to men tbh /hj

Had This on Christmas, When my grandma (who I was not out to) looked me in the face and said "With a bit of makeup you would look like a girl."

That was by far the best buildup to a spontaneous coming out I ever had.