Gym bros would do well to put on a little makeup and smile more

Part 2 of this meme is where I say that women want skinny men with good eyeliner and men want tall, buff women with abs. Stay tuned, it's premiering 8PM CST

As a bisexual man, both points are true

Would I lie?

40 hours a week on makeup? I need to step up my game. I'm only spending 4.5 hours a day on my makeup.

On one hand, I don't find huge muscles attractive.

On the other, I would find it attractive if someone could pick me up and carry my 6'6'', 260lbs ass one handed like a toddler.

This right here.

I need an androgynous guy that has the waistline of one of my legs (I'm a bear, okay), but the strength to toss me across the room into bed while simultaneously carrying our dinner on a platter in the other hand, without even a change in their breaths.

Unf, yes.

Muscles are so attractive though, most gymbros just overdo it. I'm thinking more greek god/statue, less Arnold.

Sex?

Yes please.

but then mascara starts running when the lifts get strong

You ain't wrong. I have gorgeous eyes (my lashes are the one area I've got lush hair. They're as long as fake lashes) and back when I was skinny I got occasional model work.

When I get home from work I want to have to hunt for my spouse. Full camo makeup or nothing

Can confirm, I find women who wear loud makeup instead of going leaps and bounds for the expensive "no makeup" makeup look quite attractive 🌈

It's okay for eyeshadow to have colors

One of my litmus tests for men in a relationship is whether or not they'll permit me to give them a piggyback ride. If their ego is too fragile, then that's usually a dealbreaker lol

I would find it attractive if someone could pick me up and carry my 6’6’' 260lbs ass like a toddler

Aspirational, this is why I lift.

Disagree. As a guy, girls with winged eyeliner make me weak.

To be happy you don't have to change your routine, just your goals! Nothing wrong with getting your affirmations from your same-gender friends instead, because they will give you the confidence that will appeal to the person you want to fuck.