"When someone says „Scientists do not want you to know“ you can dismiss everything from there on. Scientists want you to know. They are desperate that you know. They can’t shut up about what they found out and want you to know."

Scientists do not want you to know but you can become a cat by meowing loud enough.

It’s all fun and games until the scatologist shows up.

Then it’s all poop jokes.

Nya

Username checks out. The profile pictures, however, do not. Is that a quokka?

It is Evil kitty

They sound like "awawa" and like they are yelling.

Of course, that would ruin the double blind study on underwear preference.

IT IS FRILLY AND PINK

Also ain't none of them conspiring together to hide the truth.

Most scientists are incredibly competitive. And often try to 1-up each other with research to prove the other scientist is wrong. Or at least partially wrong.

That's what they live for.

Waaaait... double blind?

Do scientists want us to know about the misuse of p values in their research papers?

Probably not, but we (and many scientists) know about it anyway.

meow

Yes. You think the average scientist wants to be wasting their time creating catch-all experiments in order to get published so they can secure more grants? Of course not, they want to follow their curiosity to answer big questions or fail to get the answers but answer other questions. This model wastes everyone's time for extremely small gains. But it's all about stakeholder's investments.

Scientists do not want you to which arm of the study you’re in.

Scientist don't want you to ask questions about mouse 40 that spontaneously combusted during the cancer drug trial. Their funding depends on noone discussing mouse 40.

"After excluding outliers, we found no signs of spontaneous combustion as a side effect"

This explains the crabs…