Mayhem

Does JK Simmons count as being a mascot? 🤔

The LiMu Emu.

Those birds are fucking strong.

Mayhem.

AND DOUG!

Flo is actually gangsta af

Doesn't the emu have a gun?

Not quite my tempo.

Limu emu.

Humans started, and lost the emu wars once already. There's a reason there's never been a second one

Geico piglet with pinwheels

or was that the Glockstrich?

Mr. Rodgers in a bloodstained sweater, ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny-style.

Geico's got a bunch of buff, erudite cavemen in their stable, don't forget.

Hmm, The General’s tough but he’s also short. I bet the emu would fuck him up with one kick!

I vote the cavemen if they come as a group

Erin esurance, hands down.

Right. Yes. It's the mascots on track toward this contest. Sure.

No sir. I didn't hear anyone say CEO.

All enter the arena and are all instantly vaporized by a death ray.

The peasants rejoiced.

The won not one but two wars!

Jake from State Farm, because apparently he can transform from a doughy white dude in khakis to a thin, cool, young, light-skinned black guy.

The general duh, he's got modern munitions.

The GEICO gecko, for sure. He's small and quick so it would be easier to evade attacks while everyone else kills each other.