I'm sorry, I'm obviously a very sheltered girl in a bubble... There are guys without bedsheets?

Do they not know mattresses are MUCH more expensive than sheets?

They have one set of bedsheets, but they're bunched-up on the floor. It's unknown whether they're clean or dirty bc no one has informed them.

That is the “toxic” in toxic masculinity: the utter failure of society and the dads within it to teach these men this isn’t normal or ok.

Why the dads? Sounds like you're singling them out.
If you're parents, please teach your children basic lif skills. Your sex or gender as a parent doesn't matter.

It’s a progression through the male lines. Again, a piece if which is simply being born into a societal structure that nods at this and says “of course”.

Some of them use a sleeping bag. Some use a pile of “clean” laundry.

No offense, but I think you're completely over-politicizing a simple thing.
If you're a mother and you notice your son doesn't have sheets, you very well better tell him. Else you're probably part of the problem, completely (or atleast partly) separately from toxic masculinity.

How do you think this plays out in a boys life?
Do they spawn and then they're auddenly mid twenties without life skills and it's down to how the dads didn't instill all of those skills in them?

If anything, if it was down to the toxic masculine dads, they would have forced their mothers to teach their boys, because sheets are house work.
But that's obviously f'd logic.

there is a right wing influencer who used a dead rat as an alarm clock: when the sun heated up the corpse enough to smell, it would wake him up.

There are guys out there who refuse to wash their own buttholes cause that’s “gay.”

It's like camping, but more comfortable, with a lower chance of finding bugs when you wake up.

Not sure about the second part

Part of the toxicity is refusing to listen to advice from "females"

I've done that when sleeping over, mostly to save them washing a whole set of sheets just for me.

I couldn't imagine doing it in my own home.

GusFring.jpeg

You don't clean your butt because you're straight.

I don't clean my butt because I like gay butt stuff with a hint of scat.

We are not the same.

Asmongold

yeah I'm currently going through this, he's absolutely not someone i wanna be with but like he fell asleep on a call last night and I just can't help but think his sleeping noises are so cuteeee 😭😭

edit: I don't think he's worse than me, just not a good partner.

Ye, that's all cool and good.
But people aren't frozen images. A guy without sheets was a baby, a boy, a teen and then an adult. Imho saying it's the dad's fault that a guy doesn't have sheets is overly reductionist.

And it's imo also wrong to willy-nilly attribute it to toxic masculinity, because toxic masculinity isn't about men per se. Everyone, all sexes and genders, can exhibit toxic masculine behaviour. That's the "neat" part, which I think everyone should have down by now.

Part of the toxicity is refusing to listen to advice from "females"

Part of - or rather the main job of - being a teen is refusing to listen to advice from your parents.
Yes, disclaimer here, dislcaimer there, there will be endless cases where it's actually toxic masculinity manifest. But why water down the terms, when there's many other more simple explanations.

Hey girl, this is your friend speaking. Leave him. I promise, the person you're meant to be with will make noises so cute you'll regret every second spent not hearing them.

You deserve better than to be with someone who is by your own admission "not a good partner". Choose loving yourself.

I dated a dude who was very clean and responsible. When our relationship evolved until I was helping him change his bed, I was astounded to discover he was using duvet covers around his entire mattress. He went his whole life believing fitted sheets were some specialty fancy bed garnish.

To be fair, he grew up in a religious cult.

Another part of it stems from raising boys this way.

We can do better for boys to help shape them into better men is the point.

Pretty expensive alarm clock given that rats are like 1-2€ a piece (depending on the size)

My college roommate had a plan so he wouldn’t have to do laundry more than once a month: he bought 30 pairs of underwear, so he would have a clean pair every day, and everything else could be reworn until the month was out.

My other friend in college had bedsheets, but never washed them or changed them for an entire year, on move out day his bedsheets were completely embedded in his leg hair like it was woven into it as part of the sheet.

you're so right but at the same time it suckssssss :((

Wouldn't he have to kill a rat about the same time every day to get it to smell? Things don't really stink like death in less than a day, even under a hot sun.

I imagine he'd have to kill rats, let them simmer until they're just about to smell, freeze them at the state of almost-stank, and take them out to thaw before he goes to bed.

But where are the rat alarms to tell him when to kill more rats?

I wonder how many times he went "there has to be a better way to do this!" when hoisting up his mattress.

That thing that happens where the woman of the house has to manage the lives of the men who’ve never been taught? Or who have been taught a different level of behavior? That is additional burden and labor placed on the woman. Life management resting on the shoulders of women. Having to tell anyone, daily, or even weekly, to get their shit together is labor.

If dad isn’t capable because mom is still teaching him what was failed, then things aren’t just going to get missed, there will be a “lead by example” effect happening in the house. The male role model demonstrates how it works to male children and the same goes for the female role models. When this behavior set is reinforced at their friends house, on tv, by figures in the news, society reinforces that, say, mom picks up your dirty socks and puts them in the hamper for you, chastising you to do better. But she still picks up your dirty socks and puts them in the hamper for you.

Or makes sure the bed sheets are washed more than once every 6 months.

Alternatively, it’s learned that if you water long enough, a woman in the house will take care of it for you, thus reinforcing entitled, lazy behavior, and all the excuses that reside therein.

Women doing this assists in the internalization of this, among women as maybe not normal, but expected, and thus the cycle continues.

These behaviors are inherited. It’s not 100%, nothing human ever is, but we are talking middle of the bell curve numbers.

Older man: "You bitter old wimmins are just jealous". 🙄

*women

When I showed him a fitted sheet it brought him deep shame and renewed hope.

As someone in their 40s, girls in their early 20s to early 30s are all the same category of people. You're not that much different from each other than you think.

Nothing makes me feel more valid as a woman than seeing how men live.

And they’re not all filthy, but the joke that they’re happy in an empty room with nothing but a bed and a desk really seems to be true.

Infantilization of young adults is the class war dividing the generations against themselves. The problem is the 1%, not other generations.

Honestly, I'm a little envious of how little my husband seems to want or need. We each have a home office, and they couldn't be more different. His is basically an empty desk, bookcase and a PC. Mine is my lair.

Honestly. It sounds great to just be happy with that.

I'm sorry but what lmao

That could be a 4chan greentext, ngl

asmongold. you probably don't want to find out the details of his living situation at the time. it's gross.

edit: I am a man, oops

I consider that less about genetic luck and more about effort. I'd look worse if I didn't brush my hair, floss, take showers and wear clean, appropriate clothing.