I peed before riding and only carried one water bottle.

don't forget this glorious wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mamil

That's great

Those bikes don't look very aero.

"Me, I've got a secret motor in the bottom bracket powered by batteries in the shaft

I'm slightly convinced that for everyone under pro levels this is all just placebo. But I still shave my legs and if I had the money I would buy all the cool stuff.

Buying an expensive road bicycle has been described as a more healthy and affordable response to a midlife crisis than buying an expensive sports car.

Ah, Posers then. But yes at least it’s a healthier response. There’s worse things.

I zipped up my jersey.

What you need an 6000 euro race bike as an overweight man in your thirties how else am I going to look cool.

All jokes aside owning a good bike to commute or travel on the weekends is really nice. And for the people feeling self concious about wearing bib shorts, you can where something over them.

quad gods with god quads

Meanwhile, during a shopping stop in a two-day back-country ride:

“Let's wait for Pus finishing their ice cream.”

Me, with a baseball cap, sunglasses, jeans and a hoodie, headphones on the head, cigarette in the mouth and ice cream in one hand, handlebar in the other:

“What? No need to wait, I'll follow yall.”

Pros just cheat. See Icarus and all that.

You smoke cigarettes and go on 2 day long bicycle rides for fun? That's like being a vegan who will eat meat but only if the animal died in some truly awful way.

I wonder if anyone ever did scientific research on leg hair drag

I tell you hwhat. The meat industry is awful but roadkill... that there's good eatin.

True, but not eating 2 family sized pizzas a week would probably help my performance more than shaving my legs.

This was me when I smoked.

I'm not sure of its the eight years since my last cigarette giving me superpowers or if I'm just eight years older and my body cries at each minor inconvenience but I think I was healthier when I was downing a pack a day of menthols.

Fuck I miss smoking.

For every hair you shave, I'll grow three. And then I'll ride 0.05 hogsnaps to the roost per hour faster, just to prove it can be done.

I've quit three years after that adventure, but it turned out that regular bike rides contributed much more to my health than smoking took away. So I rather miss cycling now.

Or, eat the pizzas, then do some combo of Ozempic + PEDs...winning!

Are we still talking about bikes?

Bikes?

It will make you go faster. It only makes any difference at all if you are competing for something, whatever level you are.

But if you like cool bike stuff, great, go get it.

Most amateurs have signifcantly more time they can cut by training better and harder than spending thousands or tens of thousands on better components.

Its a very small list of amateurs who train to the same level as a pro who has a good chance of winning any of the big competitions.

Stick that under 30s pro on a cheap bike geared the same as a midlife crisis amater 45 year old gear head on an ultra expensive bike and guess who wins?

If you want to buy wins enter an amateur car racing event, those are mostly reflective of money spent given a base level of talent and training (which costs far more money per hour than training for cycling).

These sort of people crack me up, because every one of them hates e-bikes because they're ”cheating". Like, dudes, we're not racing. There are a lot of hills by my house and I would literally never ride a bike if I didn't have some help going up them.

I don't see how having a motor to help you out and spending a few grand on a carbon fiber frame are much different. It's all just making it easier for you.

Plenty. Olympics is very scientific. That level of sports is where you get shaving your body and wearing spandex to ride faster in the first place they aren't myths.

Meanwhile I own the world's heaviest bike ever, and love it. I love the way my chest hair flows in the spring wind as I peddle in my baggy sweats. Nothing more freeing.

That level of sport is also where you have sponsors which you don't want to loose by being outside the norm.

When I swam in high school, 20+ years ago now, we would wear drag suits to practice, because it made sense, make it harder to swim in practice.

They now wear leggings or bodysuits in practice because they determined that swimming with the extra drag negatively effected your stroke, and that it's better to achieve mechanical perfection through consistent practice.

People study the shit out of this stuff, really takes the fun out of everything.

Yeah, I'm doing nothing but running right now, adjusting my workout, training often. That's it. When I see a long plateau, then I'll consider looking to other things, but right now I know there's room in my purse running training for improvement, so there's no point in messing around with other shit.

I’m doing nothing but running right now,

that was me when i was younger. now reading that makes my knees hurt.

I do a lot of bicycling. I have no idea if the lycra bibs make you ride faster, but they sure as fuck do help prevent the chafing.

I went into a Subway once in my bike shorts. A bunch of little kids hiked their shorts up wedgie-style and danced around me like the dwarfs in the Spinal Tap Stonehenge scene. Everybody in the store laughed, including me.

I ride fixed distances (25 and 50 miles). Any improvements to the efficiency of my bikes means I'll just get less of a workout each time. Why pay (so much) more just to get less exercise?

The most hilarious mod I've ever seen is people who remove three of the six screws holding the front chain ring in place -- while being easily 50 pounds overweight.

MAMILs are the worst...

It absolutely is, but as with any hobby spending money on new things is part of what keeps it fresh. The issue is that cyclists get really insecure about this. I am a commuter who does a solid 200 miles per week and can drop most of our local bike club on my steel commuter bike while wearing a tshirt and baggy shorts. I honestly don't judge though, whatever makes you happy, but I do occasionally run into people who are like "you can't join the group ride without proper equipment" because I don't wear a skin suit or use the clipclop shoes. Whatever bro, let's see if your $800 padded onesie can beat my 8 year old gap Khakis.

I absolutely do judge, because it doesn't make them happy. At no point during their run on the approval-seeking treadmill of 'gotta shave off another 0.3 seconds from my time, no wait, 0.4 seconds, no wait...' do they actually have the briefest of moments where they can feel like they are just okay to be who they are. It's painful for them to chase the carrot on a stick, vicariously painful for others to watch, and readily turns them into toxic people when they can't get their fix.

I asked the principal engineer about the rider used in aerodynamic testing. He grinned and replied – "but they sure are pretty, right?"

Sounds like a jolly good time.

Work it

Yeah it's dumb. I bought my used mountain bike from a entusiaist. The bike was in really good shape with some of the best components money could buy at the time. Out of curiosity i asked him why he would sell the bike. He said he really liked it a lot, but it was just too heavy for long uphill rides. He then showed me the bike he replaced it with. A brand spanking new high end mountain bike. When i was home, i just had to know and compared the specs roughly from what i knew. My calculations said that his new bike was like 50 to 100gramms lighter. The guy wasn't really a featherweight either. Eating less would've saved him like 5k

I'm assuming you're older than me, but I'm on my way to 39. New shoes have really done a lot for some of the aches and pains associated with running, though if the damage is done I think it's moot.

the damage is done and i'm a recumbent cyclist now. i highly recommend recumbent cycling it is so fun. slapped a motor on and now i basically have one of these but in real life

Recumbent cycling absolutely appeals to me.

If he was really serious about it he wouldn't have shaved - he would have waxed.

mine isn't this one, but she's pretty close. she's at the shop right now (don't get me started on my inability to keep my front right tire unpopped) but i'll post an image on the dull men's club when i get her back. i usually have my seat more reclined than that, a big orange flag, headlight, taillight, a crate, and mirrors. and a speaker because i can't exist without music

there are a lot of used recumbents in great shape on craigslist. the tadpoles (2 wheels in front) are a lot more sturdy then the deltas (2 wheels in back) probably because your center of mass is lower, probably other reasons i am not qualified to comment on

Reminded me of this

https://youtu.be/h4zjbDZ9tOE

Ozempic works by making you not want to eat the pizzas. It'll never be a performance enhancing drug for sports because the top levels already have nutrition habits indistinguishable from eating disorders.

If you're asking why pay for an ebike to get less of a workout, i think the framing of the question is wrong: you get an ebike because less exercise vs a normal bike is still more exercise than driving