Surely he has 3 assistants for that.

I don’t know. Between him and the CEO of Atlassian, I think the last will have more trouble.
But… why not both?

@mod_pp these "make the CEO use the product" bloodsports are the cultural vector we need right now. ENACT LAWS enforcing C-suite use of their products.let them eat shit.

WeAreDevelopers conference 2025, CEO of GitHub was vibe coding for the last time as a CEO of GitHub.

With AI they might be able to figure out how to sort by date for search and by conversation for viewing. Microslop's search function sucks so much.

It'll be his secretary putting a ticket in

Bro why is Atlassian actually so shit? Two of their open facing tickets I came across last night. One for them to fix table rendering in the description field of tickets and the other to enable the option for collapsable fields in Confluence to be expanded by default.

Both were the better portion of a decade old and both with 1-2 year old updates saying “sorry we’ve taken so long to provide an update on this request”. The confluence one was closed without word and move to another ticket, reducing the votes/views and therefore dev priority. Such basic functionality left unaddressed for a decade. Bizzare-o world with some of these tech companies I swear.

collapsible fields doesn't improve shareholder value

They would refuse. It's all fake news!!!

Sorry, best we can do is rename tasks to work items.

Yeah and it doesn’t help when the new (as of ~2 years ago) dev ops lead is an “AI first” type. I get all that but like 4 years in, tell us to get fucked “your fields are remaining forever collapsed”. 8 god damn years the initial confluence ticket was open.

I came across it while setting up a wiki page last night, there were people who had been monitoring it for years. Some real “abandon hope all ye who enter” type shit.

sigh With a license fee increment as well, I suppose.

Make Elon Musk sit atop one of his shitty rockets the next time it launches.

Atlassian is on the chopping block with the robots getting as good as they are at writing code. It wouldn't surprise me if we'll start seeing self-hosted clones that actually work and drop all of the shit complexity that most people don't use but Atlassian built to land specific customers. So much fucking bloat in software and core features being changed or ignored is due explicitly to this. The larger customers (by ARR) dictate the bounds of the product even if they are a tiny fraction of the actual user base. At work we're already throwing away a shitty case management system that exists purely to employ people like the little kids at the front of the train in Snowpiercer. We'll save 6-7 figures in annual licensing, and the team of specialists hired to work in this shitty system are already being migrated to other work. The Saaspocalypse is totally gonna be a thing.

My upper management was invited to a business partner company's board meeting, and I was asked to provide topics for them to push during the meeting, like, what strategic functionality would we want them to have for us to use etc.

I'm like, dear dimwits, we've been using their shit for 10 years now, we have what we need in terms of features. These new "AI assistant" crap they're pushing, it's useless and will NOT pay the cost, I've done the business case, fudge the numbers if you must and you'll still be hard-pressed to find savings there.

I asked them to make a fuss about how their support keeps getting worse and worse, as they keep firing people to the point that none of the competent people I got to know over the years works there anymore, it's only new joiners or incompetents left. I know their product better than their whole support team by now.

But sure, preach on to your shareholders about how you're doing miracles, while the company chews itself inside out until it gets so bad that it'll implode.

Sorry for the rant, this one hit close to home.

Who needs to find tickets when you have Rovo!

Wait, you’re saying you do not log in just to use it? What’s wrong with you, the shareholders specifically requested it. They’re never wrong.

Make the servicenow ceo search for something in their product. Anything. Not even in a case. Just use the product.

Service-Now CEO would be the middle piece in my human centipede

I was about to say that as bad as Outlook was, I actually used its search to figure out some Jira ticket because just... damn trying to find a Jira ticket based on a few keywords is just a pain in the ass...

I prefer he sits at the bottom better.

god damn, I would touch myself to this one so hard.

Here’s a 12 year old bug asking them to stop corrupting user entered comments by turning them into cutesy emoji.

https://jira.atlassian.com/browse/JRACLOUD-39164

They DGAF about actual users.

wouldn't they just ask Copilot?

and trust whatever it says

Not making their product better is the one thing. Atlassian is actively making them worse.

Sounds painful

not nearly as painful as using service-now.

Next can we get a super cut of the CEO using teams to connect to a few different meetings? Sure it might be fine a couple times in a row but that software is such dogshit in general.

Honestly copilot search of emails is definitely a step up to the outlook search... Which doesn't say much...

That's the plan. They have so much put into copilot and no one is willing to use it. I wouldn't be surprised if they fucked over search to make it happen, but outlook search has always been an unusable POS

Outlook search has gotten way worse in the past year + 🤬

Every time they add the feature, half of the product breaks. The other half start using twice as much memory and compute, somehow.

They've got a pile of technical debt disguised as a product and the development velocity of the snail as a consequence. Very typical. The real question is "why hasn't the competition eaten their lunch already".

I only ever used it in the past because it was at work and that was the only allowed option.

Very very rarely emailing executives can get stuff fixed, amazing when it works though

Oh yee CEOs who lack the visibility they need…

Me: what rule moved that email to a random folder?
Outlook: who the fuck knows?

SpaceX rockets are all but shitty, but you can claim it's despite Musk's involvement. Since it's been known he fires all the capable engineers who disagree with him.

sorry, but he's too busy trying to figure out where else to shove ai

I heard there was a person hired specifically to keep Elon away from the critical areas so he doesn't try to overrule a decision and destroy the company.

Life pro tip that will make your IT deparment hate you: you can use Evolution and change the client id to match outlook's one in the advanced settings. It'll look like you are using the standard outlook client from your IT department point of view, but you'll actually get a usable interface instead.
I assume that thunderbird has the same options to override the client id, but I haven't checked.

Don't blame me if you get in troubles though.

It's still bad, but you can save an ounce of sanity by keeping a copy of everything locally.

https://businesstechplanet.com/outlook-only-displaying-emails-newer-than-12-months-how-to-fix/

Not only that but make him eat a McDonald's hamburger

I tried running Thunderbird and while it's better than Outlook I still did not care for it

Holy shit this is brilliant. I find much better results searching our archive solution for a term than whatever Outlook returns for me.

Do it while being asked by a middle manager if you saw the email last week. Fucking story of my life.

Making CEOs use their product live is a great idea. It'll never happen because it's a great idea.

as they keep firing people to the point that none of the competent people I got to know over the years works there anymore, it’s only new joiners or incompetents left

So many companies these days are run entirely by burnt out competent people and well-meaning but entirely untrained new joiners that I'm surprised more haven't imploded yet.

Tell that to the McDonald’s CEObot

I would pay money to see the McDonald's CEO eat an entire McDonald's burger product in a single sitting with zero camera cuts.

Would be interesting for the CEOs of businesses that make BDSM products.

That's easy, you start in the first folder, look at each email until you find the one you need. If you reach the bottom and haven't found the mail, move to the next folder and repeat.

For most that shouldn't take more than 3 to 5 workdays.