If it's covered in lead paint it won't stick, but you still shouldn't lick it...

I'm so glad spring is here and I can lick metal poles again. My tongue was getting splinters from having to lick wooden poles all winter.

I know you won't read the article, but that doesn't mean you get to miss this:

Summary for people who, like me, want to know the solution in case this happens:

Panic only a little

If you're asking: Then what was the point of this study?

Sometimes science does odd stuff that maybe leads to more useful stuff, like the Hogben Test

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_tests_using_animals#Hogben_Test

Don't get me wrong, I'm not disappointed they did this experiment. I'm disappointed they didn't find a good way to get out of it. After reading this I still can't tell if you could have your friend lick your tongue to get you unstuck, or your tongues would stick together instead.