when I want a burger - I make a burger

I want borger, but then I have to waffle for half an hour on the guilt of spending $14 in a bad economy when I'm already overweight

Adulting ain't that good

Skip the middle part, embrace saying "I want guilt".

I want burger. I love burger. But I ate too many burgers. So then I got cancer.

Being overweight is fine. BMI only measures how statistically healthy you would be if you were an American adult of the same sex and height from 1960

Exercise is more.important.

500 Lbs later...

Frieren’s eyebrows are saying, “I’m having diarrhea tonight.”

I want ‘nother borger.

But doktor, I'm vegan

I could have borgar every day if I wanted, but I don't. Instead, I buy all the stuff to make my own borgar, and then leave the rest of it to rot in the fridge for weeks on end and inevitably throw it away. Then I'm so guilt-ridden for wasting food that I don't make borgar for months.

Frieren’s eyebrows are saying, “I’m having diarrhea every night.”

I haven't been able to drive or go out much lately. I fell off my dirtbike and broke a couple of ribs. I telecommute to my job so I haven't lost any work days, but still.

And before anyone freaks out...I already got treatment for it

So get vegan borger

My secret is to wrap it in wax paper for 3 minutes before eating. Nothing beats a sweaty, melted burger.

Ohhhhhhh

What if I'm an American adult from 1983?

Well.....as long as you didn't break both of your arms.

........you didn't, right?

This is in my city.

Nobody said anything about BMI. One can be overweight while still not holding BMI as some kind of truth

With hot sandwiches or subs wrapping it up in wax paper, parchment paper, or foil is a key step to let everyone get to know each other.

I'm gonna try this at my next team building

the ground under my tires was muddy and mushy and when I took a sharp turn on top of it it came out from under me and I landed on a rock that's still sticking out of the ground as I type this

I miss Portland. Faceplant and Veggie grill were fantastic and I could get to the latter by tram.

That's too late, mate.

"I'm storing calories for the REALLY bad times"

yeaaa.

It'd be nice to go out and get whatever food I want, but I have to eat the cheap groceries I have in my apt because I need money to be allowed to continue living

Samesies

Yes that's why I said "exercise is more important"