The year is 2027. Police bust your door down and cuff you. Your pacemaker took part in a ddos attack on the gov servers

It also doesn't have age verification and the patient lives in California.

Does it run Doom?

@RomulusCornflakes no frigging way wouldn't that need wifi or a cable out to ssh? And that same pace maker supposed to run for decades on the same battery?

Yes, but the heartbeat will be synced to the gameplay.

Same.

Uses bluetooth.

There’s going to be a Skyrim release in about a week. The patient will wake up in the back of a creaking wagon.

Pacemakers can in fact be wirelessly communicated to for diagnostic purposes, and likely do have some type of onboard monitoring system that maybe has a conventional OS. Doubt you could get a normal linux install onto it though, and definitely not an apache server.

and it's running a bleeding edge build of systemd and thus currently under attack by social media trolls.

And when you die, you really die.

Easy to retrieve and reuse once done

If it does, you should probably go to the E.R.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sense_of_impending_doom

i get the joke but the pacemaker's mostly just a battery. it doesn't have much more radio than the magnetic/wireless charger your phone uses. very, very short range, no wifi at all. it's the other implants that the pace powers you have to worry about.

Not if you hack the matrix

"How's the driver of the electrodes' GPIO, Doc?"

"Probably won't fit in flash with the kernel and Apache. But I could rewire the electrodes to UART instead, that seems more practical than interfacing with that weird pulse generator."

Wrong community. This is for c/selfhosting.

DON'T BRICK THE DEVICE!!!

Don't forget to oveclock it so you get more performance

This needs to be disrupted. I bring pacemaker as a service, fully connected, for a small monthly upfront fee you can enjoy the latest in pacemakers, the i❤️.

i❤️, a beat into the future.

if anyone actually decides to do this, i will literally beat them to a bloody pulp with my cane. yes this is an actionable threat come get me i will get you

[mods if you are going to allow jokes about that kind of unspeakable violence against the disabled you have to let the disabled vent about those jokes. fuck you]

We can boost it up to a full 2 hertz even!

The pizza box laptop is still goated, IMHO.

Doomfibulator

I have never had an original thought. And I'm 8 hours late.

You should start charging them a subscription not to terminate their heart

But can you play Doom?

Latest kernel update broke my heart, literally.

"I self hosted a vital organ 'cos fuck google"

But who is the self who is hosting?

Fetch or it didn't happen...

Killall kills only one.

Good one. Honestly. Well done.

Are you alright? Do you need mental assistance?

Imagine how wild the ride would be if it ran Arch...

Run Doom on it!

Why take pill, when you can install schnapps?

Wait until they do smart pacemakers that can play netflix

There was a guy at defcon that encouragef people to hack his pacemakers bluetooth

"vi remains open, and so is my patient!"