"what's that sound?"

"Do you smell smoke?"

"What's that smell?"

Audibly farts

"what's that?"

*stares at an empty corner"

“PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean??”

"I've been taking asbestos bubble baths, doesn't my skin look good?"

“Has the building always been leaning like this?”

Did someone burn toast? It's giving me a headache.

...as someone who has trained for mine safety, LOL!

Can you train for other's safety as well?

"Why do i smell swimming pool?"

selfish cunt

This one isn't as threatening to the coworkers though

Uhhh, smells more like Flourine than Chlorine to me. Brad, you were here before us. What do you think?

I would like an explanation of which type of minedamp makes the air taste like metal. Care to share?

omg I had a coworker that would do this. no joke.

"Do you smell popcorn?"
"no?"
blarrrp "How about now?" and then he'd grin like a 12 year old.

"I miss insert coworker. This place just isn't the same after the accident."

It totally is. Seeing someone you know have a stroke and also being responsible to do something about it is pretty harsh

"Do you guys smell popcorn?"

farts

...no, it's mine...

MINE! MINE! MINE!

I was just about to say something similar. Fart silently, then ask if they smell popcorn/gasoline/whatever. They're not likely to sniff again after they've heard you fart. That defeats the purpose!

see thats how I would do it too, but he was a madlad and he made certain it was audible.

he wanted you to know it was he who doomed you. and he'd immediately start giggling like a kid right after.

I'm making him out to be a maniac, but he was actually super fun to work with and he was fantastic. it was an honor to stock overnights with him.

"you know, I'm forklift certified."

Says the bartender to the back of house.

Or "who's that?"

Or "why's that?"

My favorite was working in a television control room and asking, "is that supposed to be on screen?" The panic as the director looks back and forth at the 20 or so screens in front of them always made me giggle!!!

When my kidneys turn bad sometimes my breath tastes metallic and different.

Being responsible for the smell of burnt toast in the break room is no walk in the park, either.