Do you take your coffee seriously? Me, I'm a fanatic.

I started off with a Mr. DRIPSALOTTADRIP pre-college days. We'll skip the wild college years. And the first marriage. Then, having learned about cooking beans, humidity levels at harvest time, how much sweat/tears went into the early stages of the product (Fair Trade and such), I arrived at an Italian Lamborgenie, Contouth model where your rear window (water reservoir) is... shit, where's the window?

I had proper coffee now. This was the cobblestone kinderkuppa I stood on.

Track forward the next 12 years, black pearls of wisdom, more Genies and Pressure Cookers from Italy and The Netherlands, and you will have arrived at my most aromatic, captivating cuppa feeh I've ever created. The acidity- mwah! Tasting notes- I'd say Earthy and with a hint of calcium.

Look away, faint-of-hearts, and you lot of scumsipping teabaggers, THIS - IS - COFFEE and you bet your bottom pocket lint you can't duplicate or mass produce it for consumerism.

Needs a name for my coffee manifesto. Rage Against the Grinding? Spill it, my fellow coffee deviants and aficionados. Name it.

I see you made a perfect American coffee there!

Braun Water

As an American I can safely say this isn't American coffee. If it was, it would be more dairy and sugar than water or coffee

TIL that coffee is psychoactive.

I see you have switched to that double organic specialty brew that does not contain any artificial colors or flavors.
Must be nice to be so rich!
[looks pensively while sipping mug of dark brown water]

This joke is even funny in German 🤣

Also, don't forget the almighty microwave ritual. IYKYK.

"Today a young Lemming on acid realized that all coffee is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather."

I paraphrase, R.I.P. Bill Hicks

Would you believe I've been getting ripped off all these years?! I feel so opbeaniated over this revelation! We should start a coffee revolution!

And your mug of dark brown water cannot be worse than what I drank as a sailor. "They say that in the org here the coffie's mighty-fine! Looks like muddy water, tastes like terpentine!"

Way easier to achieve this with an americano. Just make espresso and then don't put it in the water.

I'm semi coffee snob, but I support all humane methods of drinking bean juice

Von Braun, please.

“Dairy”

I'm not above Mason jars...

Grandma called that Blümchenkaffee, flower coffee, because you could the the flower decor on the bottom of the cup through it.