There you are!

Do know you?

No! But that’s where you are; you’re there!

-Austin Powers

Is good for boy to meet girl in park but better for boy to park meat in girl.

Will it really mighty my penis man‽

Mmmmm. France is Bacon.

“I see,” said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Mine is “Make something idiot proof and they build a better idiot”

Never make yourself a priority to someone that treats you like an option.

People are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.

• Dr. Kelso from Scrubs (original series)

Here's a few from my time in the service:

"An okay plan applied immediately and vigorously is way better than a perfect plan ten minutes too late."

"Are you willing to do it? No? Then don't ask your troops to do it."

"In the event that signals can neither be seen nor clearly understood, no Captain can do very wrong if he puts his ship alongside that of an enemy."

“A Splendid Torch” by George Bernard Shaw

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

A couple from a co-worker:

If you don't have time to do it correctly now, what makes you think you will have time to fix it later.

Remember, you are not stuck in traffic, you are traffic.

And a couple from my grandmother:

Don't study drunk, but if you do at least be a little tipsy when you take the test.

Don't do anything to your car to make it stand it to the police.

That's the version I heard as a kid

What's your takeaway from this lizard?

The main thing, I'd say, I've learned from this insight is sky flopping gurney fetlocks.

Idk why but your last line made me think of that line from the offspring song, "when the truth walks away everybody stays because the truth about the world is that crime does pay"

Your dad is my spirit animal.

"Work smarter, not harder." - Scrooge McDuck

"Never pass up the opportunity to keep your mouth shut."

-- Canopyflyer's Mother circa 1982