This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2026-02-22 17:33:28+00:00.

---

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/MarshmellowDuck

Me [29f] with my neighbors [34-50f/m] Want me to take down my fence

Original Post - wayback Sept 13, 2014

My neighbors have asked me to paint my house back to pink. We live on a cul-de-sac and for whatever reason, the houses are matched. They have a pattern, brown, tan, pink.

I bought one of the 'pink' homes.

I hated the color. We don't have an HOA, and all the rest of the 'area' has houses in pretty diverse patterns. Someone has a bright red house two blocks over. Another person has a mural on their garage door.

So I had my brothers come and help me paint it blue. I hate pink, especially salmon. Ugly as fuck. I didn't ask permission, I didn't think I had to.

The house is not obnoxious. It is a standard light blue with white framing.

I will list some of the other concerns my neighbors had.

Because there are a lot of kids on the street, most people park their cars in the street and let the kids run across the lawns. No one has a fence in their front year, except for the person at the very end of the street, but they have a pool so they have to have a fence. The rest of the people pretty much don't pay attention to property lines.

I was not comfortable with this, so I had my dad put in a cute white picket fence, about four feet high. This allows my small dog to be in the front yard. I also don't have to worry about kids in my yard being loud early in the morning.

This, however, breaks up a long stretch of yard and the neighbors hate it. They said it looks tacky, despite being pretty much the same as all the other houses in the area. Only this street refuses to have fences around their front yard.

Another concern is I have not bought any of the chocolate, wrapping paper, or magazines the kids are selling. Not everyone has kids, it is about 5 families, but the rest have either adult children, grandkids, or work with kids.

I don't hate kids. I want some, one day. But I am pretty much happy with my life as is. But I don't want to be spending money on crap I don't need. I tried to explain this to them, but they keep telling me I am being the Scrooge of the neighborhood.

I am really frustrated by this.

It comes down to the following:

1. They want me to remove the fence. (Not happening)
2. They want me to take part in the culture of the street. (Okay, fine?) But this means I need to host a BBQ at my home for everyone to attend, on my dime. They said everyone has done it when they moved in. They were morally offended when I said no.
3. Want me to (I guess?) buy shit from the kids. Or offer to babysit. I told them this was not happening.

I am just not sure what to say without sounding bitchy. I have to live with these people, but I don't really want to be bothered. What happened to waving and small chat, then ignoring one another?

tl;dr: neighbors being weird and wanting me to take part in the neighborhood culture?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

kitschaus

Stick to your guns. And if they give you any more shit paint the fucker black and dig a moat.

~

Sofly_sky

Wow... I don't trust anyone with my kids..especially someone who would rather not be bothered! Keep your fence and remove the one from around the pool. Problem solved.

OOP

I am really a friendly person, but sometimes the neighbors think we live in one giant cult community. I have seen them walk into other people's homes before to say hi. I had someone, before the fence was up, come around the back to just "say hello" because they saw my car in the drive.

I have also been asked to move my car (before the fence) so the kids could play. What is the point of a driveway if I have to park on the street?

~

fuckheartbleed

I think everybody else is right in just ignoring their demands. There's something about this post which is so... American to me. It sounds like a soap opera! Here in the UK you'd probably be bitched about but barely anybody would confront you. Do people just come up and tell you to babysit or take your fence down? Ugh.

OOP

This is literally the only neighborhood I have ever lived in that does this. I have moved a lot as a kid, and no one ever begged and pestered. I know my mom exchanged nights with some of the neighbors when we were kids and we had friends over for playdates. But that was parents bartering for free time and it worked well.

Other than a tree that was destroying our fence at one house, my parents never went to the neighbors to bitch or demand. Even when I wasn't invited to a birthday party all my mom did was make sure the other kid didn't get invited over again.

OOP explains more on the kids selling door to door

The problem with the stuff the kids are selling is it is way overpriced. Cheap, crappy wrapping paper for $15 a roll. My mom bought some once, it wrapped five gifts before she ran out.

The dollar tree gives you more for your buck than that. My neighbor bought some of the chocolate and said it was chalky, which happens with old chocolate.

I just don't want to spend exorbant amounts of money fundraising middle class kids to go do middle class things. I give my money to people who need it, inner city kids, Big Brother (one I volunteer for), and towards a church I know helps the homeless with a kitchen. I am not trying to brag, just explain.

I get what you are saying, not to "be that guy" but I don't feel like throwing a BBQ for 30 people plus kids

Update Sept 15, 2014

As I said, I have people who keep pestering me about taking down my fence and repainting my house. I was actually good for a few days, I navigated the shit with as much dignity as I could. But I was wearing down (not to change) emotionally.

I know a lot of people felt I should do something neighborly. I have been to two of the neighbors parties and brought food. I always say hello. But I still feel that it is a waste of money to pay for middle class kids to buy uniforms when an inner city kid won't have new shoes. It might sound stubborn and maybe it is, but I refuse to donate to pointless causes. I would rather buy a hog for a village in another country than cookies for a bake sale in America.

I ended up losing my temper when Mirium, the woman who has been pestering me the most, asked if her son could pet my dog. He was leaning over my fence and sticking his hand into my yard. I told her that he needs to leave my property (dog included) alone.

She kind of huffed and asked why I moved into this neighborhood if I was just going to ruin what they had going on. She said she missed the old owners and thought I looked like a sore thumb. She said if I had kids it would be one thing but I didn't and people thought it was weird.

I finally told her I bought the house because I liked the area, it was mere miles from my work and family. I liked being able to spend time with friends without having to drive thirty minutes because I live outside of town.

She told me that the rest of the neighborhood thought I was rude. I asked her why I was rude when she was asking me to change everything I liked about the house and spent money on. I told her it wasn't going to change. I wasn't going to buy anything from the kids, host a BBQ, or invite them to see my house. I said I would be happier if she shut up and left me alone. And her kid could stay off my property or I would be talking to authorities.

I didn't hear anything for the last five days, so I think she might have spread the news around to people. Which is nice. Silence.

---

tl;dr: Had a very serious talk with the main complainer and it was interesting. :/

Editors Note: I avoided the comments in the update as they were all over the place and infighting on what makes good neighbors/BBQs and if OOP went to far or not. They are visible if anyone wants to see them

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Hope it ends here.