just play 1 of the thousands of solo games. why tf would you play with sweaty jobless nerds

Be Me

Log into Highly Competitive MOBA / Team Shooter Game

Rank: Mud

Get slotted into a team of 8-year-olds, Alzheimer's patients, and people on disability after falling off a ladder at work.

Lose to a team of 9-year-olds, Parkinson's patients, and people playing the game on a second screen during an office meeting

Oh gee, I wonder how it feels to be The Best Player In FlobsKnight: Cry of Obligation, kicking dirt on little old me!

Win against a team of 6-year-olds, people in a coma, and players with no arms learning to use the control with their toes

I am the greatest FlobsKnight player on earth!

Rank Up: Dry Grass

Quality of opponent improves slightly

Never win again

You’re not a child

Hey now. Maybe they're literally 12.

for some reason there are no no RTS games since StarCraft 2

Been rocking out to Plannetary Annihilation: Titans and having a great time.

Tyler1 has such a vile personality. I know it's largely a bit (I watched a video on the story of OnlyFangs and he "breaks character" a few times) but I just don't understand how people can enjoy watching such an obnoxious and loud shit talker

Yes, and the game explains itself very bad. (But is stil awesome because of other things)

I've found competitive games just aren't for me.

When I'm doing well competitively, I'm just not having as much fun. Have to take it too seriously to compete and particularly in strategy games the best strategy is often not the most fun.

Playing with known friends in a small instance is decent, but playing in an open scenario just feels exhausting.

Yeah, beating someone who takes a game super serious is super unlikely...

About the only exception was seeing some people who took fighting games seriously in some fighting games the rando pressing random buttons was hard to beat.

Everyone who is better than me is a sweaty tryhard with no life.

I do not believe that someone can beat me without dedicating their life to this game.

No one ever just gets lucky or goes on a hot streak.

I should be winning games as easily as I did at lower ranks despite not making an effort to get better

So you don't think playing team games teaches you real life cooperation? That playing flight simulators teaches you about flight? Strategy games about multi tasking and resource management? Manager games about how to handle spreadsheets and optimization? Impostor style games about lying effectively?

Etc etc etc

Reminds me of Shroud

That last part is too real 😭

Made me think of trying to climb the ranked ladder in Hearthstone.

I was the press random buttons guy that kicked ass at Soul Caliber 2.

I had to stop playing dead by daylight because even that, which is not a competitive game, became too unfun to play casual matches

I like playing multiplayer games as long as the purpose is to play the objective, team work, strategy, shoot enemies and enjoy the scenery.

Unfortunately most multiplayer games are about coordinating your mouse DPI with the screen FPS and ensuring that your graphic card coolant is flowing at the proper gallons per second.

If I cared about single pixels or abusing the game engine and hardware I would be playing 8bit games. I really don't get why AAA developers keep making these games for people to win by boring skillless optimization

In no man's sky. They just release a pokemans game mode they call xenoSomething. I had a weak little lvl 19, and decided to do the multiplayer and battled a team of 30s. My little lvl 19 beat 2 of this guy's lvl 30s.

Oh no doubt. I hated Dragon's Dogma 2 for a lot of super bad design choices and, while I see a number of little niggling design flaws in CD, it is basically what I actually expected from DD2. Just without pawns.

The strat for those people is make a gap and be cheap as hell with ranged specials.

There was an actual study that demonstrated, with data, that bad players are more likely to be misogynistic towards female players.

Relatedly, I would bet all the money I own that bad players are the most likely to scream at their teammates and make wild accusations about who's ruining their game. That's been my anecdotal experience playing MOBAs recently.

What about opensource red alert https://www.openra.net/

Basically any games with public multiplayer will end up full of tryhards. I sometimes do multiplayer with friends, I mostly just play single player games. Often that are at least ten years old.

Who says every no-lifer is actually good at the game? That’s who I’m talking about.

git gud nub

No, except flight simulator which is not a game lol

Team computer games teach you how to be extremely toxic teammate that would get into a fistfight playing a real sport, strategy games teach you how to abuse minmax imperfect game balancing, manager games teach you how to abuse computer accepting dumb trades, impostor games hmm yes they do teach you how to be a lying sociopath so maybe it would be good training for CEOs.