I'm a two footed driver, even in an automatic.

That doesn't mean I push both gas and brake simultaneously, that just means I'm faster to react to driving situations as both feet are always on the ready.

I cook fish in the microwave.

"He who laughs last laughs hardest."

I laugh the hardest regardless of turn order. I laugh so hard others stop laughing to stare in stunned silence. I laugh so hard concerned citizens call for an ambulance.

The only good Indian is a dead Indian, according to Roughnecks and Cowboys in the 1800s and yet I can assure everyone that I would be far worse if I were dead.

"I laugh the hardest regardless of turn order" is the funniest thing I've heard all week. I'm dying.

stinky microwave hi-5