Link: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/may/11/critically-low-snowpack-west

Get the hell out of arid areas prone to drought, this is only going to get worse, much much worse.

cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/37654893

STOP MELTING THE SNOW WITH LASERS, THEN!

What the hell else am I supposed to do with my doomsday laser? I spent all my fortune and time building it in my volcano villain hideout, launched it to space and now the world is falling apart into catastrophe all by itself and no one cares that I can destroy the world.

The first government I contacted from my secret volcano base to demand a ransom or I would melt all their snow just replied "You know what? Great do it already get it over with im tired of all these disasters piling up!!!! If you don't do it our president will!!!!" and hung up.

The next day I saw on the news that this country announced for national security purposes it had pre-emptively melted all of its snowpack with lasers to prevent a terror attack.

I am having an identity crisis.

Have you tried giving up villainy for a large pile of walnuts?

I keep doing that but I can never remember where I stash all the walnuts and the cycle repeats.

Yeah, that tracks.