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The joys of aging
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catsarebadpeople sh.itjust.works catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2023-06-13
Banned
#52 · Quote Reply

A year or two ago, I was having a wee and was thinking about how women dry with TP and us men are just degenerates that shake it around. I jokingly thought about creating a "wankerchief" that guys could keep around and calling it a "Peter Patter". It definitely made me giggle far too much. It's a disgusting premise to carry around a piss covered rag, but the names I thought were on point.

I will say two things:

  1. Just do a little push on your taint and the extra dripple comes right out.
  2. Barring that, you have to just wrap your entire dingy in a tissue or toilet paper to absorb the liquid over the next few hours. Like a lazy male tampon.
5
geomela lemmy.world geomela@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-09-30
#53 · Quote Reply

please, tell me what the piss incident of 2001 is I NEED TO KNOW!!

I also want to know how big a prostate is when it's unfeasibly large.

7
🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 pawb.social Kolanaki@pawb.social
Joined: 2024-10-06
#54 · Quote Reply

"If peeing your pants makes you cool, consider me Miles Davis."

14
myyass lemmy.world myyass@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-09-02
#55 · Quote Reply

Do the helicopter to get it all out using centrifugal force. You're welcome.

It sounds like you're referring to a certain gif I've seen, nothing has to be up my rear end right?

2
turdas suppo.fi turdas@suppo.fi
Joined: 2023-06-17
#56 · Quote Reply

The urinary sphincter is at the base of the penis, the piss that comes out after you stop is the stuff held in the urethra (unless you have some cause of incontinence ofc). Unless you are in to sounding you aren't getting in there.

the quakers don't want you to know this but you can gently milk your wiener to get liquids out of it

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DrunkenDuckling lemmus.org DrunkenDuckling@lemmus.org
Joined: 2026-08-12
#57 · Quote Reply

Seriously? After I'm done at a urinal, I press the remaining urine out of my urethra and shake it off. There shouldn't be any stray drops if you're doing it properly.

Capillary action "pulls" the actual last drop out when your tip touches your underwear.

No amount of squeezing or pulling can 100%.

9
DrunkenDuckling lemmus.org DrunkenDuckling@lemmus.org
Joined: 2026-08-12
#58 · Quote Reply

A year or two ago, I was having a wee and was thinking about how women dry with TP and us men are just degenerates that shake it around. I jokingly thought about creating a "wankerchief" that guys could keep around and calling it a "Peter Patter". It definitely made me giggle far too much. It's a disgusting premise to carry around a piss covered rag, but the names I thought were on point.

Im a dude and wiping with a single sheet of TP after peeing is a gamechanger Im never going back from.

23
saimen feddit.org saimen@feddit.org
Joined: 2025-03-09
#59 · Quote Reply

Da hilft kein Schütteln und kein Klopfen,
in die Hose geht der letzte Tropfen.

(It doesn't help to shake and beat,
into the pants goes the last drop)

23
DrunkenDuckling lemmus.org DrunkenDuckling@lemmus.org
Joined: 2026-08-12
#60 · Quote Reply

Just sit down already, jesus christ

Imagine being 37 and never having cleaned your own toilet

8
DrunkenDuckling lemmus.org DrunkenDuckling@lemmus.org
Joined: 2026-08-12
#61 · Quote Reply

I will say two things: Just do a little push on your taint and the extra dripple comes right out. Barring that, you have to just wrap your entire dingy in a tissue or toilet paper to absorb the liquid over the next few hours. Like a lazy male tampon.

That "little push" never works 100% reliably, capillary action from your underwear fabric will pull more out.

Men are so fragile they'll jump through a million hoops just to avoid peeing "like a girl"....

2
kestrel7_7 lemmy.world kestrel7_7@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-07-31
#62 · Quote Reply

Im a dude and wiping with a single sheet of TP after peeing is a gamechanger Im never going back from.

Everyone doesn’t do this? My god… 😭

10
kestrel7_7 lemmy.world kestrel7_7@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-07-31
#63 · Quote Reply

I will say two things: Just do a little push on your taint and the extra dripple comes right out. Barring that, you have to just wrap your entire dingy in a tissue or toilet paper to absorb the liquid over the next few hours. Like a lazy male tampon.

What did I just read

#1 is solid. #2 is ahahahaha what??

2
kestrel7_7 lemmy.world kestrel7_7@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-07-31
#64 · Quote Reply

It sounds like you're referring to a certain gif I've seen, nothing has to be up my rear end right?

It doesn’t have to, but it doesn’t hurt

3
TomMasz piefed.social TomMasz@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-06-07
#65 · Quote Reply

Proof, as if it was needed, that we shouldn't be wearing pants. If it wasn't for "laws" and "public decency" I wouldn't.

8
Dozzi92 lemmy.world Dozzi92@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-02
#66 · Quote Reply

[deleted]

I go for more of the cow-milking squeeze and pull, to coax that last drop out into the appropriate location (a/k/a not my pants).

3
Dozzi92 lemmy.world Dozzi92@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-02
#67 · Quote Reply

the quakers don't want you to know this but you can gently milk your wiener to get liquids out of it

This is the way. Became enlightened a couple years back and have enjoyed the dry briefs since then. It was always that last drop that stuck around.

2
Track_Shovel slrpnk.net Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net
Joined: 2023-06-13
#68 · Quote Reply

I feel like my foreskin has got even bigger over time. It’s like all foreskin now.

4
hansolo lemmy.today hansolo@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-06-07
#69 · Quote Reply

Push under your balls

This is what actually works. Not everyone's plumbing is the same. Human physiology varies wildly.

1
Notyou sopuli.xyz Notyou@sopuli.xyz
Joined: 2023-06-12
#70 · Quote Reply

Im a dude and wiping with a single sheet of TP after peeing is a gamechanger Im never going back from.

There are dozens of us

7
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In lemmy.world Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-18
#71 · Quote Reply

That's not normal at 37. In fact, that's not normal at 60.

The volume is exaggerated for comedic effect.

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Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In lemmy.world Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-18
#72 · Quote Reply

Push under your balls

I feel like a word is missing

Push [what] under your balls?

2
allidoislietomyself lemmy.world allidoislietomyself@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-07-30
#73 · Quote Reply

Da hilft kein Schütteln und kein Klopfen, in die Hose geht der letzte Tropfen. (It doesn't help to shake and beat, into the pants goes the last drop)

We have a similar one in America it goes "no matter how much you wiggle and dance you always end up with some on your pants'

11
jj4211 lemmy.world jj4211@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-16
#74 · Quote Reply

The volume is exaggerated for comedic effect.

But at a matter of a drop coming out, that's not really an aging thing either.

3
stummies lemmy.world stummies@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-07-31
#75 · Quote Reply

Or just sit down while taking your piss. In public bathrooms, sure I'll use the urinal, but at home or work (very clean toilets at my job), I'll happily sit and have no problems.

I find sitting is worse with the problem. Pressing on the taint area helps to get the rest out.

3
mrmisses lemmy.world mrmisses@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-02-03
#76 · Quote Reply

That's not normal at 37. In fact, that's not normal at 60.

It is normal at 80. See: the president of the United States and his diapers

3
Neverclear lemmy.dbzer0.com Neverclear@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Joined: 2025-01-18
#77 · Quote Reply

Well, Did you Dab? I Dab. You should Dab!

Stop saying dab!

3
AItoothbrush lemmy.zip AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2023-06-12
#78 · Quote Reply

A year or two ago, I was having a wee and was thinking about how women dry with TP and us men are just degenerates that shake it around. I jokingly thought about creating a "wankerchief" that guys could keep around and calling it a "Peter Patter". It definitely made me giggle far too much. It's a disgusting premise to carry around a piss covered rag, but the names I thought were on point.

Wat? Yall dont wipe? No suprise that all your stuff gets wet

7
Hikermick lemmy.world Hikermick@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-23
#79 · Quote Reply

LPT: when you think you are done, push on your taint. You're welcome.

22
Thebeardedsinglemalt lemmy.world Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-07-17
#80 · Quote Reply

LPT: when you think you are done, push on your taint. You're welcome.

LPT if it's not a urinal, dap the tip with a piece of toilet paper

7
boonhet lemmy.zip boonhet@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-08-12
Banned
#81 · Quote Reply

Proof, as if it was needed, that we shouldn't be wearing pants. If it wasn't for "laws" and "public decency" I wouldn't.

Gets kinda cold in the winter though now doesn't it

1
scytale piefed.zip scytale@piefed.zip
Joined: 2025-07-16
#82 · Quote Reply

Everyone doesn’t do this? My god… 😭

I do it at home. It’s harder in public urinals because I forget to grab a sheet from the dispenser first. If there’s no one else in the restroom, I hold the band of my boxers open to avoid contact and waddle to the sink area to grab a sheet to wipe with. Bringing my own TP roll in my bag solves this issue though.

4
notabot piefed.social notabot@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-06-04
#83 · Quote Reply

Proof, as if it was needed, that we shouldn't be wearing pants. If it wasn't for "laws" and "public decency" I wouldn't.

A kilt is generally considered acceptable attire in most places, and deals with this issue.

1
ZILtoid1991 lemmy.world ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-03-16
#84 · Quote Reply

Sitting while you pee is not recommended if you have an unfeasible large penis. I don't have one, I'm just saying.

That's what someone with an unfeasible large penis would say!

2
notabot piefed.social notabot@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-06-04
#85 · Quote Reply

A year or two ago, I was having a wee and was thinking about how women dry with TP and us men are just degenerates that shake it around. I jokingly thought about creating a "wankerchief" that guys could keep around and calling it a "Peter Patter". It definitely made me giggle far too much. It's a disgusting premise to carry around a piss covered rag, but the names I thought were on point.

Some new words just burn themselves into your brain, and this is one of those cases. I didn't need the word "wankerchief" stuck in my head, but now it is, and I keep giggling at odd times. Thanks a bunch.

2
卩卄卂丂乇 lemmy.8th.world phase@lemmy.8th.world
Joined: 2023-08-04
#86 · Quote Reply

Proof, as if it was needed, that we shouldn't be wearing pants. If it wasn't for "laws" and "public decency" I wouldn't.

You can still sit on the toilet and use paper to get the last drop.

By the way, I recommend a skirt or even a dress during heat waves.

1
islandcoda42 lemmy.zip islandcoda42@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-03-14
#87 · Quote Reply

Im a dude and wiping with a single sheet of TP after peeing is a gamechanger Im never going back from.

100% highly recommend getting on board with this

5
myyass lemmy.world myyass@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-09-02
#88 · Quote Reply

It doesn’t have to, but it doesn’t hurt

lol

2
InvalidName2 lemmy.zip InvalidName2@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-07-10
#89 · Quote Reply

LPT if it's not a urinal, dap the tip with a piece of toilet paper

Even if it is at a urinal, as long as there's paper towels or tissues in the bathroom, you can grab a piece as you head to the urinal and wipe off when you're done. Just takes a modicum of planning.

0
InvalidName2 lemmy.zip InvalidName2@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-07-10
#90 · Quote Reply

Just sit down already, jesus christ

I know someone with the problem shown in this photo. He sits to pee. So, I'm going to say, it's not just about sitting to pee, at least not for everyone.

2
Thebeardedsinglemalt lemmy.world Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-07-17
#91 · Quote Reply

Even if it is at a urinal, as long as there's paper towels or tissues in the bathroom, you can grab a piece as you head to the urinal and wipe off when you're done. Just takes a modicum of planning.

Well yeah, but I was more thinking of being in a public area

1
Jax sh.itjust.works Jax@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2023-08-22
#92 · (edited) Quote Reply

Wat? Yall dont wipe? No suprise that all your stuff gets wet

Most guys don't wipe after peeing, yes. I do, because the thought of doing it with my underwear disgusts me, but uh... yeah I guess it just doesn't occur to most guys. Kinda like washing your hands before you touch your penis.

4
percent infosec.pub percent@infosec.pub
Joined: 2025-05-03
#93 · (edited) Quote Reply

Proof, as if it was needed, that we shouldn't be wearing pants. If it wasn't for "laws" and "public decency" I wouldn't.

You want guys to just leak piss onto whatever surface they're standing/sitting on?

4
percent infosec.pub percent@infosec.pub
Joined: 2025-05-03
#94 · Quote Reply

Just sit down already, jesus christ

How would that help?

8
random8847 lemmy.world random8847@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-01
#95 · Quote Reply

LPT: when you think you are done, push on your taint. You're welcome.

Sure thing. Will shove my hand between my legs and press it really good in a public urinal. That will totally look normal.

5
jpreston2005 lemmy.world jpreston2005@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-05
#96 · Quote Reply

Sure thing. Will shove my hand between my legs and press it really good in a public urinal. That will totally look normal.

you just reach like 1 or 2 fingers, about half and inch past where your balls end, push up a bit, it can be done inconspicuously. I do it every time now out of habit.

9
Sam_Bass lemmy.world Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-04-08
#97 · Quote Reply

that's why the advice goes to pull up on it as you pull your pants up so that the drips will be minimized

2
WraithGear lemmy.world WraithGear@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-13
#98 · Quote Reply

You can still sit on the toilet and use paper to get the last drop. By the way, I recommend a skirt or even a dress during heat waves.

it does not work, for the same reason mechanically

2
WraithGear lemmy.world WraithGear@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-13
#99 · Quote Reply

Just sit down already, jesus christ

the mechanics do not change wether sitting or standing

4
mat dave lemmy.ml matdave@lemmy.ml
Joined: 2025-05-02
#100 · Quote Reply

That's not normal at 37. In fact, that's not normal at 60.

That's what I thought at 36... Now i'm 40 and sweat every time I zip up

3
RampantParanoia2365 lemmy.world RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-10-02
#101 · Quote Reply

Uh...yeah because why would shaking it do anything? You have to relax your bladder, and squeeze like an udder. Do people not know how were constructed, or what?

2
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