A systematic investigation of acid-base neutralization, CO2 production kinetics, gluten inhibition, and the Maillard reaction as applied to a 125-gram flour batter, with an interactive stoichiometric calculator that adapts to whatever is in your refrigerator

but what if I'm a barbarian and I don't have a kitchen scale

You should get one. I was late to the party, but it's made a huge difference convenience-wise. Instead of dealing with (and washing) various measuring cups, I just pour directly into the mixing bowl and zero it out after each ingredient. I think a cheap one only set me back a little under $20.

The inside should be light and custardy, not dense and bready... A pancake that requires chewing has failed at its only job

The pancake should be tall without being cakey.

Wait, wait, what?

They're called panCAKES for a reason, are they not?

Custardy? I don't think I've ever seen someone slurp a pancake without chewing. I can't be sure of this, though, because if I ever did see someone do this, I would have surely suppressed such a traumatic sight from my memory.

One of us must be living in an alternate reality. Tell me it's not me. Please, commiserate with me.

It's ok. They should be soft enough that you don't have to chew. But they definitely need to have an internal structure closer to bread than custard.

+1 for kitchen scale. It should be gram accurate at least. Half/Tenth of a gram precision if you're making weird micro-batches. When I was experimenting with cupcake recipe creation, I basically made one cup cake at a time iterating and adjusting ratios until it came out how I wanted it. Only really possible with the scale.

Absolutely get one. They're cheap and reliable.

Every time I buy one, I find I never use it, give it away after a few years, and then decide I need one again. It's a viscous cyclei can't batter my way out of. Maybe this time I'll rise to the occasion.

If the inside of my pancake is custardy I'm sending it back to finish cooking. They're literally called cakes for a reason.

Pankkake.

I'm geussing they mean custard in the same way as a properly cooked French cruller. The center of the choux dough is cooked but the mouth feel is very custsrdy. I haven't had a pancake like that, but it sounds good.