But I absolutely love being bribed with my own money!

I give every American $5 and promise that you never hear from Trump again.

And White House and Supreme Court

they were only $1400 because joe manchin and the shriveled-up vegetable formerly known as moscow mitch got in the way.

Yup.

Totally. It's always the other side's fault.

And let's be serious, probably incestual rapist too. Don't forget the weird things he's said about his daughter.

this uh...illegal. then again...when you elect a criminal you should expect them to commit crimes.

He did not say where the money would come from.

Same place the tariff rebates came from: nowhere.

Thank God. I already spent my DOGE and tariff checks.

/s

DOGE checks, tariff refunds, something about an Obamacare refund I think.

The sky high gas prices this fucking piece of shit personally created have not only ravaged us at the pumps, but also ravaged every delivery driver... Driving ALL costs up

This fucker owes us FAR more than 5k, man.

He meant he's taking 5k from every person who isn't American.

Reminder that 80% of people don't read past the headline - most people will believe the lie even if they only see it here. News outlets know this, so the headline should be "Trump breaks the law and commits election fraud with false claims about payments to voters" or whatever.

The game console poster is so cartoonishly evil it loops around to being a little funny

Fuck it at this point I'm gonna start betting against this shit on polymarket or kalshi or whatever

Even if they win he still won’t pay.

Prison terms and conditions may apply.

Not to mention all the tariffs collected by him don't add up to 250m americans x $5000, not even close. In a way, I hope the americans believe him, so that they don't give the rest of the world any hope that the US can be reasonable, but on the other hand, jesus f christ we've all had enough of the sweaty tangerine

Idiots will believe and vote. That's a great way to count all the idiots in the US.

In a functioning democracy such an election promise is a crime, but so are Super PACS and gerry-mandering and data scraping from voters via scam sites or abusing of entirely different public databases. Also, in a functioning democracy such crimes get prosecuted.

And I'm on my third dessert at that Cuban restaurant in Miami.

Add that to all the other "your cheque is in the mail" gambits that trump throws out there and american citizens won't need to work or contribute at all anymore! /s

I love free government money. As every MAGA does right? Also /s

I cannot understand how MAGAts don't understand that. He just says random shit and hope it sticks enough to make him win.

Worked for dubya... Twice if I remember right.

Sold!

Note: I never typed "$".

Don't forget the economic shock that would follow. Everyone has a few grand in their piggy bank? Time to raise prices, buying power has just gone up. Then people complain they still have the same standard of living. Salaries stay the same. Prices won't go back down. The dollar is worth even less.

Guess who wins there.

How on earth are they allowed to put this promise on the literal white house website? This country is a joke and danger to both itself and the rest of the world.

I have a few coworkers who are all in on Trump no matter what and it’s always amazing to hear them weekly. Say the same thing that he says the war is over. Gas is going to be cheap renaming the lake somehow helps us since his speech about giving $5000 after the midterms he is so excited and so ready for their Donnie dollars.

That's 5k$ to each and every adult. In average. 5k x 270M adults…
Maybe it's going to be 1.35 billions for himself, and jackshit for eveyone else. Or he'll generously share a bit of it with his family and friends, but still jackshit for the people.

Darn it, tricked again

Surely this time will be different though!

You missed a "k". It would be 1.35 trillions.

Functioning democracies have things like healthcare, and education, and workers rights, and...

I'd try to profit from it. Exchange your 5k future check for a week of them buying lunch now.

In a functioning democracy such an election promise is a crime,

Not a crime crime. In fact, being able to make election promises with being criminalized is one of the most basic democratic rights. It is similar to how it is democratically correct that being a felon doesn't technically disqualify Trump from running for President.

But in a functional democracy, such a promise should make the voters absolutely refuse to vote for Trump. It is the equivalent of deliberately taking on credit card debt for unnecessary spending, at a time where you are already almost bankrupt.

Oh gee, maybe someone should drop into the night and kidnap him with a helicopter.

But who would do such a thing?

I can actually hear the cousin fuckers getting excited.

It is a crime, but consequences are for the poors.

Indeed, my bad! But well, can he really let Musk be the first?

I love how he is literally just playing put scenes from Idiocracy in real time now

...or which kind of dollar it would be. There is e.g. the Guyanese dollar, which even offers a 5000 dollar note. It might even buy you a McD menu.

It's not legal but they don't care.

Money only have value because other people don't have the money. This is like shitting everybody's pants to help them stay warm.

On a large scale this will:

1. drive up inflation, weakening the USD, which will make US bonds easier to pay off. Something which Trump has hinted at being his strategy for the immense US national debt. https://www.geopoliticalmonitor.com/inflate-away-the-debt-strategic-logic-and-risks-of-a-weak-dollar-regime/
2. Solidify the global transitioning away from the US dollar as the defacto reserve currency. In turn weakening the US soft power position on a global scale.

What about the the ordinary American? The people who couldn't care less about international relations, because they're just worrying about healthcare, or getting gas to go from their second full time job, to their part-time job?
If we accept the capitalist premise, and let's do that for the sake of talking about money in the current US, then my analysis of giving a moderate sum to everyone is this:

1. If everyone has money, then the average desire for money will drop. Meaning that in order to extrinsically motivate by paying will become more expensive. We keep hearing that nobody will work anymore. This will become more intense, but only momentarily, because of...
2. Giving everyone money will drive up demand, thus driving up cost of living. But while giving a lump sum once will drive up prices, what about when people have spent that money? Then 99% the US population is worse of.