I'm a salary+comm role, and they wanted me to start clocking in and out. I said sure, but you'll have to pay me overtime. Guess who doesn't have to clock in and out. Sidenote, I also dont work overtime anymore.

They don't even bother with great anymore. It's all "competitive salary and competitive benefits". The highest they're aiming is matching the average.

That's why I really hate the "competitive" buzzword. It's like, alright... let's say it's a competition. Are you winning it? Because I can certainly compete against Michael Phelps at swimming, but that doesn't mean I'm any good.

Alan would have a sharp words for you about that (peasant!)

Sometimes the restrooms at my office are stocked with two ply toilet paper, instead of the one ply sandpaper stuff.

I challenge anyone to top that benefit.

oops. I've been having a lot of brain farts lately

I recently became a corporate sellout after a lengthy stint in science. I do get a bit higher salary, but what struck me most is how much less competitive this environment is.

mine honestly does have good benefits though, £800/year pro-rata budget, and 30 days paid holiday

that costs about $125 if bought new. but the rental company should be cleaning it regularly for that price.

What they don't wanna tell you is that they're all competing for "as low as they can get away with."

"HmMmMmm quite competitive! Yyyyeeess!!"

Mine promised a water filter 2 years ago and they put the feed pipe in last week.

Funny story, our company made a lot of money off of covid and they decided it was a great idea to purchase a floor at another building across the street just for VPs and execs. Cool. Once they left our bathrooms had the worst 1 ply toilet paper imaginable. Like you had to grab it gently and slowly pull otherwise it just ripped. Even doing this was still 50/50. Well bad decisions led to that floor being shutdown after only 2 years and they had to move back in with us. Immediately the toilet paper went back to the good stuff again. The fact that they treated TP as a luxery item and can't seem to afford the nicer stuff for everyone always made me wanna flick them off so bad. Jokes on all of us though since that fuckup was so bad we just found out the entire company was purchased and almost without a doubt we will all lose our jobs next year once finalized. Thanks a lot execs, you did an amazing job like usual.

I like it when they put in perks things that are legally mandated. Oh wow this job comes with a pension, what a progressive company.

My current job (school bus driver) has a pension, which is the first of any job I've ever had in my life (and I'm almost 60). It's another 5 years before I'm vested and get the pension, and I'm not sure I would bet on the job not having been replaced by AI before then. Hopefully not, since the pension would allow me to afford the brand-name dog food.

I used to work as a contractor at the Comcast Center in Philadelphia. One day my boss (at my contracting company) came by and said we were going to a meeting with Time Warner Cable execs. I reached for my coat but he stopped me; we rode the elevator up to the 16th floor where Time Warner Cable had a suite of offices ... in the Comcast Center. A year or two later they announced plans for a merger of the two companies, which was somehow and mystifyingly stopped by the FCC. Like, they'd already merged essentially.

Too many stripper recalls lately.

I have this absurd fantasy about being paid for my commuting time.

It's like you've been to our break room! (it's actually 2 benches and one chair, so at elbows you can fit a whole 5 people!)

16 people.

1 Microwave.

1 Bench to make coffee that can sort of fit two people. Coffee Machine? Nah it's Nescafe or bust.

You do not want to know the situation in these airport ready rooms. Black mold has been sighted in the fridge/freezer, the ceilings are gross, the chairs are crumbling, and the water cooler hasn’t been checked in at least 10 years.

The pay sucks too.

This happens in Australia with the mandatory pension contributions.

"Our amazing competitive salary package will meet mandatory minimum requirements"

I'm in the south, about 6 years ago, my boss "got a really good deal" on that stuff. It grew mold before we even got to 3/4 of the first can. I bet the other 2 are still there.

Mine lists "there is a lake nearby that you can walk around in your lunch break" as a benefit.

The economy is doing great!

It is doing great. Just not for us little people.

Mine has a view of the sky from the parking lot. Sometimes it's blue.

We're highly competitive

So you pay me more than the competitor?

Same in flat listings. Why they list shower and toilet but never running water?

A hard hitter is, ribs or wings or brisket. Really tramples moral. I had a solid lockable lunch box when I worked in retail after someone broke my jar(soup or rice mixes) in the soft one lol

But if you really want to get payback, microwave lentils. Smells like baby shit.

No - they compete with all the others to see who can get away with paying the least.

Reminds me of an episode of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law which lists the benefits of the workplace. I couldn't find the clip, but from memory:

• Toilet paper allowance
• Chairs (for earners)
• Subsidized pens
• Air (for earners)
• Unrestricted internal phone calls
• Remnants of meeting muffins
• Stairs
• A mostly pest-free environment
• Complimentary tickets to already free events
• Bikram Filing
• Take your mistress to work day
• Emergency Exits (senior staff only)

Our "competitive raises", AKA below inflation raises!

I generally try not to make hard and fast predictions like this because really who knows? But I’m pretty confident that school bus drivers aren’t going to be replaced by AI within five years.

To quote the immortal Chris Rock, “minimum wage is like your boss saying ‘I would pay you less, but it’s illegal’.”

Yeah academia can be pretty cutthroat. It’s weird. I loved lots of parts of being in school, but when my advisor started trying to weaponize my personal relationships with other professors so that he could be the new department chair I was like “hahaha just kidding! I’m going to become a carpenter, have a good one forever.”

We need an app that hooks up people who like deep cleaning random things with folks who have those things. This is what the gig economy should be like, tbh

Air (for earners)

And all the other get what smokers exhale in the room?
Oh right, that's the definition of "Air" now.

Thank you so much for reminding me that this existed, as a reward I found the video for you. https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x440810