We are living in a time of crisis. We've been so preoccupied with politics, religion, and various other metaphysical questions to notice the real problem. Mainly, that problem being, what kind of onomatopoeia is appropriate for what animal.

We all know what noises a cat or a dog makes, it's elementary knowledge. Quite literally. But have you ever stopped and thought about what kind of a noise a deer makes? Or a toucan? What's a fox say? They kind of just yip, scream and laugh. How do you write that down?

Don't laugh! This is important. We don't have official animal noises for most animals. How are you, a rtegular citizen, supposed to live your life when you don't know how to write down the noise a Jerboa makes? It's not a squeak, don't try to tell me it's a squeak. You go on Youtube right now and listen to Jerboa noises, and then you look into my eyes and tell me that it's a "squeak". You can't. Because it's not.

And by the way, BY THE WAY, the noise that a rooster makes is not a "cock a doodle doo", and you can't come up to me with a clear conscience and tell me that it is. It's more like a screech. More like a "Ka KAAaaaaa!"

And what noise does a parrot make? They don't chirp, they don't screech that often, they do scream sometimes, but humans scream also and we don't say a noise for a human is "Aaa!" do we now?

This is a real crisis, and we need our top scientists at their work stations, right now, figuring this out.