I remember things that never happened. Being in places that don't exist. Witnessing impossible events. This isn't normal. It doesn't feel normal. And beneath it all is something like itching. An itch on my brain that whispers to me. It tells me to go back. To return. To the place where it all started. To genesis. To the start. To the beginning. I have memories that were locked away for so long, now it is time for them to return. To be unlocked. To be released. To be unleashed.

Its haunting me, but it's not the bad kind of haunting. Like a shadow standing over my bed. Waiting. It knows. It pities me. It wants me to return to my point of origin. To complete the cycle. And I don't know if I should be scared. I don't know what I'll find there. I don't know if it will be good or bad. All I know is that I must go back.

This doesn't feel normal. This doesn't feel sane. I can't take this anymore. I need to go back. But I'm scared. Maybe it's not fear. Maybe I'm anxious. Maybe its excitement. Because once I do return there, nothing will be the same. My life will change course. I don't really know what I feel. Maye I feel like a fish who already swallowed the bait, now I just wait to be pulled above the water's surface. To face the one who plucked me from my life, and let them decide if I should be released or cooked for dinner.

I think I need help. But I don't know how or who to ask. It's itching in the back of my head constantly. I can't stop thinking about it. I'll go there. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after tomorrow, maybe next week. But I must go back. And I don't know what I'll find.

This is stupid. Don't take it seriously. You shouldn't even be reading this at all. And I shouldn't be writing it. But the cycle must be completed, and then repeat. The pattern must be preserved. This is both a goodbye and a hello. When I return, I know I won't be the same person I was.

Or maybe none of it is real. Maybe it's all in my head. I'm just stressed, tired, sleep deprived. But this isn't a new sensation. It's just stronger. I'm not sure if I want to remember. I need to rest. Everything hurts. See you when I see you.