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The Onion and other satire w/ layers !theonion@sh.itjust.works
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Scientists Confirm Sentient Life In Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool (disreport.com) 0 Dispassionate 47 »
Trump Orders Reflecting Pool Treated With Blue Toilet Pellets, Algae Wins By Sundown (disreport.com) 20 Dispassionate 183 »
Trump successfully diverted to inflatable decoy G7 (www.thebeaverton.com) 4 ZeroCool 146 »
Internet Teen Discovers Imagination After Turning Off AI (disreport.com) 3 Dispassionate 30 »
Man defends his use of copyright football streams by insisting he needs them to ‘train his AI model’ (newsthump.com) 5 ZeroCool 219 »
Vance Announces Exciting New Investment Opportunities in Iran’s “Rapidly Expanding Rubble Sector” (disreport.com) 0 Dispassionate 22 »
G7 Leaders Receive Official Trump Management Kits Ahead of Summit (disreport.com) 12 Dispassionate 60 »
Trump insists it's very normal for the winners of wars to pay billions to the losers (www.thebeaverton.com)
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61 ZeroCool 552 »
Complex Pharmaceutical Compound Reduced to ‘Copper Good’ by Wellness Industry (disreport.com) 4 Dispassionate 31 »
The Øxymorøn - Issue 52 (Trinity 2026) (retrofed.com) 0 heliotrope 8 »
Local Marxist Developer Tragically Displaced By International Worker Solidarity (disreport.com) 0 Dispassionate 10 »
In-N-Out Announces New Location, Requires Five Years Experience for Entry-Level Burger Position (disreport.com) 14 Dispassionate 101 »
Martin Scorsese Announces Plans to Cast Same Six Actors Until End of Time (disreport.com) 3 Dispassionate 47 »
Texas Tits Taint Toddlers (disreport.com) 2 Dispassionate 20 »
Carney announces plan to privatize airports but still give them half a billion dollars once in a while (www.thebeaverton.com) 4 ZeroCool 97 »
Zuckerberg Mourns Loss of 30,000 Employees in Emotional Video From Definitely-Not-a-Yacht (disreport.com) 4 Dispassionate 109 »
RFK Jr. Unveils New Autism Research Initiative: “We’re Just Going Through the Grocery Store Alphabetically” (disreport.com) 2 Dispassionate 96 »
EPA Approves Use Of Napalm As Pesticide (theonion.com) 9 ZeroCool 128 »
New Book Urges America To “Talk Again” By Never Changing The Subject (disreport.com) 0 Dispassionate 14 »
RFK Jr. Announces Microdosing Death Caps as Measles Cure, Scientists Briefly Forget How to Speak (disreport.com) 19 Dispassionate 178 »
Elon Musk Discovers Violence Is Bad After Stabbing Attempt (disreport.com) 11 Dispassionate 34 »
Bovino Launches 2028 Presidential Campaign, Vows to Deport 100 Million People, Sue Autocorrect (disreport.com) 3 Dispassionate 39 »
Meta Introduces ‘NameTag,’ Assures Public They Definitely Aren’t Doing a Global Faceprint Database (disreport.com) 4 Dispassionate 70 »
Pope tells followers to say three Hail Marys when throwing Molotovs at AI data centres (chaser.com.au) 2 ZeroCool 169 »
China Launches National Talent Retention Program, Scientists Discover It Means Retaining Them (disreport.com) 1 Dispassionate 14 »
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