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The Onion and other satire w/ layers !theonion@sh.itjust.works
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Protesters Scale Empire State Building, Present Anti-Billionaire Flag for Five Minutes (disreport.com) 4 Dispassionate 29 »
Kash Patel Invites FBI Agents To Train With Professional Pickup Artists (theonion.com) 3 ZeroCool 64 »
Nigel Farage disappointed after misunderstanding Wimbledon’s all-white policy (newsthump.com) 0 ZeroCool 83 »
Québécois rock duo 'Angine de poitrine' tops Spotify’s global charts, earns enough to pay for Spotify Premium (www.thebeaverton.com) 5 ZeroCool 53 »
White House Mocks Paltry Attendance At Democrats’ Great American State Fair - The Onion (theonion.com) 0 slothrop 60 »
America’s Latest Gig Economy Side Hustle Has Customers Saying They’re “Getting Their Hole Done” (disreport.com) 2 Dispassionate 30 »
Woody Guthrie’s Guitar Detained by Masked Federal Agents (thehardtimes.net) 0 ZeroCool 91 »
‘The Bear’ Ends With Continuous 45-Minute Shot Of Carmy Screaming While Stirring Tomato Sauce - The Onion (theonion.com) 8 slothrop 169 »
Sentient Lincoln Memorial Algae Confirms Expansion Plans, Requests Less Oxygen (disreport.com) 0 Dispassionate 30 »
VP Introduces “Moral Inflation” Index, Says ‘That Whole Hitler Thing’ Would Barely Make It Through Lunch (disreport.com) 8 Dispassionate 74 »
World’s Most Famous Illustrator Accused of Faking AI Style She Invented Four Decades Ago (disreport.com) 10 Dispassionate 42 »
Workers Reveal Confidential Data to AI Boss Scam After It Asks About Their Weekend (disreport.com) 0 Dispassionate 15 »
White House Physician: Trump’s Narcolepsy ‘Normal’ for a Healthy Octogenarian Pedophile (thehardtimes.net) 9 ZeroCool 242 »
Snap Unveils AI Glasses That Replace Reality With Whatever Makes You Feel Better (disreport.com) 4 Dispassionate 61 »
Billionaires Announce Peaceful Protest No Longer Considered a Credible Threat (disreport.com) 15 Dispassionate 92 »
UK told to not give next Prime Minister a name as to not get attached before they resign (chaser.com.au) 9 ZeroCool 244 »
U.K. Weighs Social Media Ban Of Everyone Except Old Men Who Grow Big Vegetables (theonion.com) 4 floofloof 123 »
GOP Urges Democrats To Tone Down Rhetoric Used To Quote President Verbatim - The Onion (theonion.com) 1 slothrop 185 »
Kansas City Debuts AI-Powered Bus Seating Initiative; Officials Stress It Is Absolutely Not Segregation (disreport.com) 0 Dispassionate 23 »
Barron Trump To Be Renamed ‘Barack’ as Part of Trump’s Surrender to Iran (theshovel.com.au) 33 ZeroCool 475 »
Scientists Confirm Reality Has Been Running on the Wrong Timeline Since 2016 (disreport.com) 8 Dispassionate 112 »
Trump Announces Plan to Convert Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool Into World’s Largest Indoor Ice Rink (disreport.com) 8 Dispassionate 58 »
Introducing the Watermelon Guillotine — Now With Easy Assembly Instructions (disreport.com) 2 Dispassionate 31 »
Successful Purge of Billionaires Creates Peace on Earth Overnight; Some Americans Concerned They Can No Longer Dream of Becoming One (disreport.com) 4 Dispassionate 127 »
Cuba Offers To Give Up Nuclear Weapons It’s Not Developing in Return for US$300B (theshovel.com.au) 14 the_mighty_kracken 494 »
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